The 12 Problems of Hercules (or rather the 4)

So it is Saturday again and I must think of something to write. I have decided to write rather than video- because I assure you, you all have much better things to look at than my face.

The theme this week is ‘Nobody’s perfect’ and I had a brilliant post for it. I promise you, it is the most astounding, clever and witty post. With Emily’s blessing I planned to tell you the many failings of Alexander the Great- a seemingly perfect man.

As it is- the post has proved too much of a monster for me to write, and so the idea sits comfortably on the shelf, along with my epic on Greek women, which will one day, probably never, be written.

I mean seriously, would this guy ever
get THAT angry about an apple?

One thing I have been doing this week is watching the Hercules TV show. The old Disney one based on the movie, because the many historical inaccuracies are good for a laugh. I mean, I don’t expect much out of a show where Hercules is best friends with Icarus and Cassandra, taught by Herodotus and Homer is a journalist, but it’s still amusing to me. Mostly, because the Hercules from Greek

mythology is so far removed from the show. Greek Hercules, was a bit of a pratt.

Yep. He really sucked. Hercules (or Herakles if we are going to use the Greek terminology) was a really terrible guy. His response to every adversity was to hit it with his club until it stopped moving. I’m not saying he wasn’t cunning, the trick with Augean stables (cleaning them by diverting a river to run through) was pretty clever. But he could also be an idiot. At one point- an apple was in his way in the valley he was crossing, and rather than like any normal guy and just ignoring the apple, he decided to hit it with his club. When it didn’t erupt into a million small apple pieces, but instead grew in size, he hit it again. This went on for a while, until the apple grew to fill the entire valley and he couldn’t walk past. Athena eventually turns up, and tells him the apple is a manifestation of Eris, the goddess of Strife, and it is maybe a good idea to STOP HITTING THE APPLE as now he is stuck. For such a famous hero, Herakles could really have done with utilising his demi-godic brain cells more often.

All the Greek heroes were like this. Pretty bad folks. Odysseus, my least favourite Greek hero to spell, abandons his loving wife for a big war in troy. Fair enough, but on the way home sleeps with multiple women (and only one of them was necessary for the Odyssey’s plot advancement) while Penelope turns down several better offers to wait for him.

In the Euripides play, Jason casts aside his (admittedly pretty awful) wife Medea for a younger woman, after Medea killed her brother to be with him. He claims he was trying to help his family, and he was still going to look after Medea and their sons once married to his new wife, who happens to be a Princess, but never felt it necessary to tell her this. Although, I do admit Medea may have overreacted to his betrayal by killing their children.

Theseus may have killed the Minotaur, but it’s pretty clear he could only do it with Ariadne’s help. She gives him string and a sword to kill the beast, and he shows his appreciation by abandoning her on an island. It ends alright though, because she gets with the God Dionysus instead.

And Perseus he… um… actually, Perseus was a pretty cool guy. He stayed with the Princess he married, didn’t have too many affairs that I know of, and didn’t have a compulsion to smash apples. Yeah, Perseus was good.

Anyway, no-one is perfect, not even the Greek hero’s. Especially, not the Greek Hero’s. 

Remind yourself that it's ok not to be perfect.

Simple Plan - Perfect

Well this week is about those times where you may have the urge to make something perfect. But that's the thing, you don't HAVE to be perfect all the time. 

I know I am probably talking to the worse crowd for this haha. 

Well I dont really have time right now or the energy for a massive blog. So I'm going to cut it short, I have a video posted on youtube to go along with this post

Loves and hugs 

Ryon :)

oops wrong person...

Okie doke I am not the normal person for a sunday. but it's me Bryony, or Ryon... I cant remember what I go by on here.

But anyway. Lorna is busy with rehearsal for things and stuffs and what not. (I am brilliant at explaining things.) but yes I am mondays so I will be writing a post for then as well... but I dont really have anyhing else to do on a saturday night after work. anyway Lorna wanted me to fill you in on what is going on and stuffs.  

Ok I am not good without a plan... I literally was just like yeah I'll help... shit what do I say.

Ok well I am going to leave you there... I have to think of a blog post for tomorrow as well

night folks 

RYon

Caesar: more than just a salad

I tried to schedule this to come out on Saturday- I may have got it wrong and if this has screwed up Friday's poster I'm sorry! If this does turn up on Saturday- then woo! Again, if I have messed it up I apologise!

I watched the film Alexander this week (and nearly wrote a post on Alexander the Great- until I realised Emily had beaten me to it! Oh well- I have a good idea for a follow up on that but may have to have some discussion with Emily about it first) and despite it not being bad per say, maybe genuinely heart-wrenching at points, I could not take it seriously. My classicist friends and I just burst out laughing at every sentence- mostly due to the Irish accents. This is how I learnt the hard way studying Ancient History had ruined any chance of enjoying a historical film.

I digress, however. This week’s theme is determination, drive, and ambition. To make my life a little easier, these are three qualities held very dear in the hearts of the roman emperors.

To be a roman emperor was a bloody, and unrewarding job. Very often you had the life expectancy of a slug in a saltshaker- around half of the roman emperors were deposed by means of assassination, usurpation or execution. Only 20 between 14AD and 395AD died of natural causes, and as one was supposedly hit by a bolt of lightning, I think this can be examined with reasonable doubt.

And if we are to examine the ambitious men who sought this coveted position, there is surely no better place to start than with Julius Caesar.

The Asterix Caesar is the most accurate version... obviously

Caesar is awesome. He is a captivating mix of political genius and arrogance that has fascinated historians for millennia. When he was kidnapped by pirates- he actually complained his ransom wasn’t high enough, so his family had to pay even more to get him back. A young Caesar apparently cried at a temple to Alexander the Great, distraught that by the time he was Caesars age, the deified hero had conquered most of the known world- while he was little more than a glorified civil servant. His rise to power is thrilling- yet complex. He was pretty much hated by most of Rome’s aristocracy and ruling class- mainly for his tendency to go on long and expensive military campaigns without asking anyone- but also because he had the support of the plebeians, and there has never been a bourgeoisie in history who likes the figurehead of the proletariat. When his governorship of Gaul came to an end, and he was recalled to Rome, he feared he would be prosecuted by the civic leaders in the city- so brought a legion with him. But by bringing an army into Italy he automatically incited civil war with his previous ally Pompey. Caesar won- and his ambition was achieved when he was subsequently granted the role of dictator. It has often been questioned whether he wanted war, and whether he truly sought to be emperor (which he achieved in all but name). Regardless of his intentions however, the ambition and drive of a man heartbroken by his inadequacy to Alexander, led to the downfall of the roman republic, thereby changing the face of European, if not world history, forever.

Plus, Caesar is fantastically quotable. Between 'Veni, Vidi, Vici', 'The die is cast 'and Shakespeare's wonderful addition of 'Et tu, Brute?' it's pretty hard to avoid anything Caesar said, or supposedly said. 

I think I will end this post with Caesar. I had written another paragraph about Constantine- but I reckon I talk about him a little too much anyway, and perhaps I should stick to earlier history this week. Unfortunately not everyone is as into Byzantium as me! Also- I am meant to be doing work as I am taking tomorrow off to go visit Emily. However- as the reading I am meant to be doing is on the Roman republic- I insist writing this counts as revision!

I shall be back again next week!

-Rachael

xxx

How do I define History? It's just one F***ing thing after another.

So, my first post of the year. I had essays, I have an excuse for being absent, but I’m quite excited about today’s post.

Today I want to discuss one of my favourite films.

Yes, I know this is supposed to be a literature post, but hear me out. Because this film reminds me exactly what it is I adore about books and history, and how they intertwine. And this film is the stage-screen adaptation of Alan Bennett’s The History Boys. I’ll tell you that if I ever got around to writing up a bucket list, being in a production of The History Boys would be somewhere near the top. I don’t care about the all-male casting, this is the twenty-first century, I want to play one of the boys – they’re fascinating characters. Dakin and Posner and Akhtar and Scripps and Lockwood and Rudge and Crowther and Timms are brilliant. If my limited history in theatre has told me anything, it's that I'm not afraid to play a male character.

If anything, watch it for the cast, loads of whom you will recognise! James Corden, Dominic Cooper), the Late Richard Griffiths, Samuel Anderson, Francis De La Tour, Penelope Wilton, Russell Tovey, Steven Campbell-Moore and loads of other faces you’ll recognise.

I think The History Boys struck a chord with me when I saw it, because at the time when I discovered it I was writing my personal statement, just like the boys I was fighting for a place to study History at university, and this play told me exactly what it was I was feeling this innate love of books and history and learning that was what I wanted to describe but never had the words;

"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out, and taken yours." – Hector

And to apply it to history it’s all about having those ‘gobbets’ (Quotes) ready, even if you don’t understand the quotes (As our dear Scripps says in the play ‘Most of the stuff poetry’s about hasn’t happened to us yet’), When you do finally come to understand the feelings, you’ll have the gobbets ready. Mr Hector teaches us in the play that he “would hate to turn out boys who, in later life, would claim to have a love of literature, or speak of the lure of language, and their love of words.” is rather eccentric General Studies classes are to make the boys more rounded individuals, he calls it ‘Sheer, calculated silliness.’

One of the things I love about this play is the idea of knowledge for knowledge’s sake. I pride myself in ‘useless’ knowledge, quotes and poems and random information that will never come up in exams or tests or probably even a pub quiz but it’s there and I can use it where I want, drop it into conversation or make doodles from it in my notebook. I can tell you the opening lines of dozens of books, I can name the horses of great military leaders throughout the years and I can tell you the name of the man who was Trotsky’s bodyguard during a failed assassination. This film teaches me that this sort of knowledge isn't entirely without purpose. I’m full of gobbets, prepared for anything the world throws at me. Some of them even come from this film, it’s rather quotable, and with Samuel Barnett’s stunning renditions of Bye Bye Blackbird, Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered and L’Accordiniste. But also the rather jolly chant;

Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye!
Cheerio; Here I go! One my way!
Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye!
Not a tear, but a cheer, make it gay!

(I’ll admit I've been singing this all week)

But the play is more than just about books or history, it’s about a clash of modern and old education, when the young Mr Irwin is brought in to polish the boys up for Oxbridge he is taken aback by their ability to sprout facts and poetry and having learned the endings to different films, knowledge to them is a game and they always have a gobbet ready to throw at everything he says, the boys are very different students under Irwin and Hector and when they share a class the boys freeze ‘We don’t know whose class we are, sir, Yours, or Mister Hector’s’.

It’s about learning about oneself, growing up, the boys are all very different: from Sporty Rudge who, when asked to define history, comes up with the marvelous quote I used for the title this week; to the outrageous Dakin who quickly manages to understand the game Mr Irwin is playing with them, he’s the leader of the group, smart and probably dangerous. They all come from different religious backgrounds too. Though, the fact they are grammar school candidates trying for Oxbridge does suggest an upper middle class background. All of them, despite this shared education, lead very different lives, shown to us in a horribly touching scene at the end, the boys become everything from tax lawyers to launderette owners, young Lockwood was killed by friendly fire just 28. 

A rather lovely line comes from young Posner, the most naïve of the group as he talks with the closeted Irwin;

Posner: Do you ever look at your life, Sir?
Irwin; I thought everyone did.
Posner: I'm a Jew, I'm small, I'm homosexual, and I live in Sheffield. I'm fucked.

Finally, the play is about failure, to a certain extent, and betrayal. Things don’t turn out the way they’re meant to, and the boys, though they adore Mr Hector, are having to hide the fact that he’s a sexual predator. Right at the end, all the boys get into Oxbridge but then, after giving Irwin a ride on his motorbike, Mr Hector is killed, at his funeral we listen to the headmaster telling them about Hector’s love of Literature and words, which we already know he would have hated. We learn then about the fates of the boys, Lockwood is dead, Scripps takes drugs…  I believe in the book poor Posner has a breakdown (in the film he becomes a teacher) that’s not how it was meant to end. And we are left with another of Hector’s gobbets to consider, about the purpose of education;

"Pass the parcel. That's sometimes all you can do. Take it, feel it and pass it on. Not for me, not for you, but for someone, somewhere, one day. Pass it on, boys. That's the game I want you to learn. Pass it on."

Oh, like all books I could write so much more on this, I absolutely adore this film, I could go into the ideas on homosexuality and the ideas of the mistelling of history and so much more. But no, I’ll leave it here. I may revisit the play once I have read it and seen the differences from the film.

Emily.

Intelligence without Ambition is a bird without wings ~ Salvador Dali

Bonnie & Clyde (The Revolution) - Her Bright Skies

Oh look, Ryon is on top of a monday for once. 

I will probably keep this short and sweet because I have already done one blog post this evening on a personal blog, which is why I think it's been so hard to keep up. 

First of all I had 2 weeks off college, so that was like 9-ish days off give or take a few days. I still had to go to work and stuff but it wasn't too bad. But now I am back to my schedule of college, college, college, niece, college, work, work, repeat. Which indeed means I get hardly any time to myself, yet somehow, on a sunday night I have found time (while I am eating skittles and waiting for my hair to dry) to write a monday blog post to be scheduled. I am quite proud of myself. 

on Friday night I found myself quite down, thinking about having to go to work. but the next day I got to work and I realise, I didnt hate my job, I didnt hate the customers, I didnt hate the people working there, I was worried for nothing basically. The only downside is that it's not photography based and I dont really have time to do photoshoots with it. 

And that little paragraph has tied in nicely with this weeks theme, which is determination. Well that's what I got out of the quote this week. To me, it means that if you want something to happen then you have to make it happen. You may have the capability of doing it and the knowledge about the subject but that doesn't mean anything if you don't have the ambition to go for it (much like the bird without wings, without those wing, the bird can't really reach it's full potential.) 

well I think I am done now guys

loves and hugs 

Ryon 

xxx

Why did Constantinople get the Works?

Hello again!

My laptop is now connected to the internet- and I can update again. Whether or not this is a good or a bad thing is up to you. I had a Greek exam today- and am celebrating finishing it with a bowl of named brand spaghetti hoops- fine dining on a student budget J

I started a new unit on Constantinople this week, and so thought that’s what I might discuss.

Constantinople is my personal favourite city. I was lucky enough to visit Istanbul a few years ago, and it truly is one of the most breath-taking places you will ever see. The interior of Hagia Sophia (holy wisdom- a church, then a mosque, first built in the Byzantine era) is stunning, and what’s more amazing is the fact it didn’t fall down.

So, with not much else to say, I will give a brief rundown of the history of the city. With the help of Wikipedia.

Founding of the City:

So as legend goes, Byzas, a son of Poseidon and Grand-son of Zeus (not that unusual though- the Greek gods got about a bit) wanted to found a city. He was instructed by the Oracle at Delphi (the go to oracle for all your prophecy needs) that the ‘land of the blind’ was a great place to do this. Byzas interpreted this to mean the golden horn. Byzas noticed this was a fantastic place to build as city, so much better than across the sea to Asia, where another settlement was. Byzas decided that whoever had built on the Asian side of the Bosporus, rather than the European side, must be blind, and so the prophecy was fulfilled. Byzas, being humble, named the city after himself, and so Byzantion was born.

Istanbul/Constantinople/Byzantium on a modern day map. Google maps, to be precise!

Pre-Constantine Era:

Byzantion was a colony of the Greek City Megara, and never did much. For a while it was little more than a fishing village. It eventually became a roman colony, and was expanded a bit by the emperor Septimius Severus, but spent a long time doing nothing other than existing.

Then along came Constantine:

That funny looking guy from a few weeks ago? Well he united the entire Roman Empire after a few wars, and was also the first ‘Christian’ emperor of Rome. Deciding to make a name for himself, and move away a little from paganism, he REALLY built on Byzantium, introducing a forum, imperial palace and hippodrome- all the necessary trappings of a classical city. Byzantium became the capital of the Eastern Roman empire, and when formally opened in 330- Constantine took a note out of Byzas’ book, and named it after himself. Thus, Constantinople was born.

The Eastern Roman Empire:

When Rome fell in 476, Constantinople retained much of Rome’s culture and ideals. People referred to themselves as Romans, and under Justinian regained much of the old empire again. Over the next few centuries, due to increasingly prevalent Arab, Slav and Avar consquests (as well as some VERY significant disagreements with the pope!) the empire slowly decreased, along with its influence over the rest of Europe. Nevertheless, Constantinople kept going. Until 1453.

Suddenly… the Ottomans:

The Ottomans are interesting for a lot of reasons, they were the first politically important non-Arab Muslims, but they also managed to conquer Constantinople. Within a few decades the city was utterly transformed, Hagia Sophia became a mosque, and the Topaki palace was constructed. As society changed, Christian intellectuals left the city to Europe (which is speculated to be one of the causes of the renaissance!). The Ottoman Empire grew significantly, taking most of the regions previously owned by the Byzantines, and lasted till 1923. The city continued to be called a Turkish variant of Constantinople, but Istanbul, a colloquialism for the city was adopted along with its new republic following Ottoman collapse. Istanbul is a derivative of εἰς την πολις, meaning ‘in the city’ in Greek- harking back to its classical roots.

So that’s all for now. I have summed up 2000+ years  of history in 5 paragraphs- my lecturers would cry! Anyway, I’m off for now!

-Rachael! xxx

I'm a Cliché in a song, and everybody's singing along.

Something's Gotta Give - All Time Low

Hey guys, it's Music Monday time again, and I think that this is the first Monday of the Year where you have gotten to read my wonderful writing. So sorry about last week. I did explain to everyone that I was feeling low and really didn't feel like writing. All of us feel like that sometimes, and some of us in this actually all of us have some form of education to attend to while we write this blog. So some weeks we may find it difficult to remember or find the time. I have an alarm on my phone so that I can remember but even I find it hard, since I am the start of the week, I kind of need to start off with a quote I guess. 

So this week I chose a line from a new song that actually came out today. I didn't know what line to choose so I chose one that I liked the sound of.

But anyway I'm going to cut it short and go for a shower coz I feels like it. 

Loves and Hugs

Ryon

xxx

?

Hey my lovelies, 

I have not got a clue what to call this but i'm also sorry that I have not written in weeks, I had a band rehearsal on Sunday which was really wired it felt like a Monday all day and we were all confused as to why shops and other places were closed XD

 The following one I was meant to write, but it was the weirdest and for my step Father the worst Sunday ever (the one before xmas)!! It started off lovely it was my sister’s wedding anniversary so it was lovely until we here a knock on the door, I don’t know if any of you have experienced this, thinking someone has died due to the fact that you aint heard from them in years and then have you’re step fathers daughter whom you have not seen in about 17 years knock on your door and tell you that the person you thought all these years to be dead had passed away three hours prior of this visit! It’s so wired, I only meet the person who passed away once in my life so it has not hit me that much just seeing a man like my step Father fall to pieces and you ask hazel my step father is quite a big man he normally makes other people cry not the other way round. But yeah that happened so I decided not to write one up and I hope that you understand that at that moment in time it was not the perfect time to write on I need to be with him!

The following Sunday I had forgot to do one, but also I wanted to spend time with my older brother, he serves in the army and though he was back over the Xmas holidays he normally spends time with my younger brother (they both think the world of each other!) but he wanted us to do something as a family and we did and that to was more important than this (I’m really sorry if that has ovended ya’ll but family is important to me I have dropped important things that would help me get to where I wanna be for my family so if I need to do it with this I won’t even hesitate)  so that happened

The following Sunday was time to go back at flat (that’s what I call my flat and then home is at house I just like saying like that that’s all XD) the drive took longer its only meant to be about 1:30 hours but it took longer coz me and my step father wanted bacon but we gave up in the ned and settled for a subway XD but it was really late when I got back and I had to fix up my bike and tidy up my room (past self is an ass hole bloody left my bloody room a mess -.- and people came in it to change the stupid shower head which there were no point because it’s just as useless as the last XD) and catch up with my flat mates <3

This Sunday has been written by a less off a dick head past self its written by a past self that needs to write something before she explodes and knows that she is going out on Saturday and might not go back home till 5:00 am in the morning so wont be up till 1:30pm on the Sunday so ill schedule it for 12:00 because no one’s up before then besides my local alcoholics trying to cram in precious drinking time in XD

Anyways I hope you all had a better Christmas than I and a wonderful new year! What’s you’re new year promise? (I cant spell the other word it’s a weird one XD) I don’t make them I see no point in them for me personally they only last six months then I get bored and give up XD I dunno what else to write for this to be honest but I guess I never do XD oh and in future if I don’t post its due to the fact that I am trying to organize a youtube thing for my fellow peers her at uni its long and complicated but if we get it sorted ill tell ya’ll about it J

Ginger out 

Sorry I thought it was funny XD 

Flatmates to the Rescue

Hello!

Due to events in which my laptop split in half, and the following aftermath- I am unable to post the actually post I wrote this week.

So I am sorry for this very short version- in which due to an inability of me to think of much exciting to say, I am quizzing my flatmates for interesting things to say to you.

No. 1- Nathan- His interesting history fact that P.G Wodehouse (an author he has assured me- I am not so well read as Emily) used to throw his letters out a window rather than post them- in the hope someone else would pick them up and do it for him. Although, after further discussion Nathan isn't sure this is entirely true.

No.2- Heather, diverting from the history topic I gave her, has told me if you put both your fists together they are the size of your brain. Nathan assures us however this is definitely not true. He claims to have seen a human brain. I didn't enquire further.

My other flatmates are either not in my flat, or revising for a test. Nathan tells me he has another fact.

No.3- Nathan says Tycho Brahe (an astronomer? I don't know) had a pet moose who he got drunk, and then the moose fell down the stairs. I have no idea if this fact is true.

No.4- Heather- she says she has no more facts and can I please stop bothering her by insisting she gives me facts like an intellectual monkey. Apparently that is what google is for.

No.5- Google- Pinnochio is Italian for 'pine head'. I don't know Italian so it is up to you guys to use google translate and work it out!

So, for now I am done. I will be back next week (although I have a big Greek test so maybe not- but I should be!)

-Rachael xxx

P.s Heather says if you stretch out a french horn it reaches 200ft. Google says this is an overestimate an the length is 20ft. It seems I can't tell you anything actually true.

Heather also tells me the author George Sand (actually a woman) had an affair with Chopin,