Happy Valentine's day from Justinian and Theodora

Okay so I am really really sorry.

Really really really sorry.

I am halfway through my post- and it will be a great post I am sure, with a bit of date checking and clearing up. Eventually. But I have been given an essay to write on the Theodosian land walls, and currently that is filling up my brain far more than any reasonable post can.

I am really sorry.

I hate to do this two weeks in a row, but unfortunately my essay has to take priority. It's due in a week on Monday- so I will try and get some writing done this week if possible, but if not then maybe you will get a new post from me in two weeks time.

As consolation, I have attached pictures of balloons with Justinian and Theodora's face on them. Look them up- The real Justinian and Theodora were awesome, but not quite as good as their balloon counterparts.

They look shifty. 

The 12 Problems of Hercules (or rather the 4)

So it is Saturday again and I must think of something to write. I have decided to write rather than video- because I assure you, you all have much better things to look at than my face.

The theme this week is ‘Nobody’s perfect’ and I had a brilliant post for it. I promise you, it is the most astounding, clever and witty post. With Emily’s blessing I planned to tell you the many failings of Alexander the Great- a seemingly perfect man.

As it is- the post has proved too much of a monster for me to write, and so the idea sits comfortably on the shelf, along with my epic on Greek women, which will one day, probably never, be written.

I mean seriously, would this guy ever
get THAT angry about an apple?

One thing I have been doing this week is watching the Hercules TV show. The old Disney one based on the movie, because the many historical inaccuracies are good for a laugh. I mean, I don’t expect much out of a show where Hercules is best friends with Icarus and Cassandra, taught by Herodotus and Homer is a journalist, but it’s still amusing to me. Mostly, because the Hercules from Greek

mythology is so far removed from the show. Greek Hercules, was a bit of a pratt.

Yep. He really sucked. Hercules (or Herakles if we are going to use the Greek terminology) was a really terrible guy. His response to every adversity was to hit it with his club until it stopped moving. I’m not saying he wasn’t cunning, the trick with Augean stables (cleaning them by diverting a river to run through) was pretty clever. But he could also be an idiot. At one point- an apple was in his way in the valley he was crossing, and rather than like any normal guy and just ignoring the apple, he decided to hit it with his club. When it didn’t erupt into a million small apple pieces, but instead grew in size, he hit it again. This went on for a while, until the apple grew to fill the entire valley and he couldn’t walk past. Athena eventually turns up, and tells him the apple is a manifestation of Eris, the goddess of Strife, and it is maybe a good idea to STOP HITTING THE APPLE as now he is stuck. For such a famous hero, Herakles could really have done with utilising his demi-godic brain cells more often.

All the Greek heroes were like this. Pretty bad folks. Odysseus, my least favourite Greek hero to spell, abandons his loving wife for a big war in troy. Fair enough, but on the way home sleeps with multiple women (and only one of them was necessary for the Odyssey’s plot advancement) while Penelope turns down several better offers to wait for him.

In the Euripides play, Jason casts aside his (admittedly pretty awful) wife Medea for a younger woman, after Medea killed her brother to be with him. He claims he was trying to help his family, and he was still going to look after Medea and their sons once married to his new wife, who happens to be a Princess, but never felt it necessary to tell her this. Although, I do admit Medea may have overreacted to his betrayal by killing their children.

Theseus may have killed the Minotaur, but it’s pretty clear he could only do it with Ariadne’s help. She gives him string and a sword to kill the beast, and he shows his appreciation by abandoning her on an island. It ends alright though, because she gets with the God Dionysus instead.

And Perseus he… um… actually, Perseus was a pretty cool guy. He stayed with the Princess he married, didn’t have too many affairs that I know of, and didn’t have a compulsion to smash apples. Yeah, Perseus was good.

Anyway, no-one is perfect, not even the Greek hero’s. Especially, not the Greek Hero’s. 

Caesar: more than just a salad

I tried to schedule this to come out on Saturday- I may have got it wrong and if this has screwed up Friday's poster I'm sorry! If this does turn up on Saturday- then woo! Again, if I have messed it up I apologise!

I watched the film Alexander this week (and nearly wrote a post on Alexander the Great- until I realised Emily had beaten me to it! Oh well- I have a good idea for a follow up on that but may have to have some discussion with Emily about it first) and despite it not being bad per say, maybe genuinely heart-wrenching at points, I could not take it seriously. My classicist friends and I just burst out laughing at every sentence- mostly due to the Irish accents. This is how I learnt the hard way studying Ancient History had ruined any chance of enjoying a historical film.

I digress, however. This week’s theme is determination, drive, and ambition. To make my life a little easier, these are three qualities held very dear in the hearts of the roman emperors.

To be a roman emperor was a bloody, and unrewarding job. Very often you had the life expectancy of a slug in a saltshaker- around half of the roman emperors were deposed by means of assassination, usurpation or execution. Only 20 between 14AD and 395AD died of natural causes, and as one was supposedly hit by a bolt of lightning, I think this can be examined with reasonable doubt.

And if we are to examine the ambitious men who sought this coveted position, there is surely no better place to start than with Julius Caesar.

The Asterix Caesar is the most accurate version... obviously

Caesar is awesome. He is a captivating mix of political genius and arrogance that has fascinated historians for millennia. When he was kidnapped by pirates- he actually complained his ransom wasn’t high enough, so his family had to pay even more to get him back. A young Caesar apparently cried at a temple to Alexander the Great, distraught that by the time he was Caesars age, the deified hero had conquered most of the known world- while he was little more than a glorified civil servant. His rise to power is thrilling- yet complex. He was pretty much hated by most of Rome’s aristocracy and ruling class- mainly for his tendency to go on long and expensive military campaigns without asking anyone- but also because he had the support of the plebeians, and there has never been a bourgeoisie in history who likes the figurehead of the proletariat. When his governorship of Gaul came to an end, and he was recalled to Rome, he feared he would be prosecuted by the civic leaders in the city- so brought a legion with him. But by bringing an army into Italy he automatically incited civil war with his previous ally Pompey. Caesar won- and his ambition was achieved when he was subsequently granted the role of dictator. It has often been questioned whether he wanted war, and whether he truly sought to be emperor (which he achieved in all but name). Regardless of his intentions however, the ambition and drive of a man heartbroken by his inadequacy to Alexander, led to the downfall of the roman republic, thereby changing the face of European, if not world history, forever.

Plus, Caesar is fantastically quotable. Between 'Veni, Vidi, Vici', 'The die is cast 'and Shakespeare's wonderful addition of 'Et tu, Brute?' it's pretty hard to avoid anything Caesar said, or supposedly said. 

I think I will end this post with Caesar. I had written another paragraph about Constantine- but I reckon I talk about him a little too much anyway, and perhaps I should stick to earlier history this week. Unfortunately not everyone is as into Byzantium as me! Also- I am meant to be doing work as I am taking tomorrow off to go visit Emily. However- as the reading I am meant to be doing is on the Roman republic- I insist writing this counts as revision!

I shall be back again next week!

-Rachael

xxx

Why did Constantinople get the Works?

Hello again!

My laptop is now connected to the internet- and I can update again. Whether or not this is a good or a bad thing is up to you. I had a Greek exam today- and am celebrating finishing it with a bowl of named brand spaghetti hoops- fine dining on a student budget J

I started a new unit on Constantinople this week, and so thought that’s what I might discuss.

Constantinople is my personal favourite city. I was lucky enough to visit Istanbul a few years ago, and it truly is one of the most breath-taking places you will ever see. The interior of Hagia Sophia (holy wisdom- a church, then a mosque, first built in the Byzantine era) is stunning, and what’s more amazing is the fact it didn’t fall down.

So, with not much else to say, I will give a brief rundown of the history of the city. With the help of Wikipedia.

Founding of the City:

So as legend goes, Byzas, a son of Poseidon and Grand-son of Zeus (not that unusual though- the Greek gods got about a bit) wanted to found a city. He was instructed by the Oracle at Delphi (the go to oracle for all your prophecy needs) that the ‘land of the blind’ was a great place to do this. Byzas interpreted this to mean the golden horn. Byzas noticed this was a fantastic place to build as city, so much better than across the sea to Asia, where another settlement was. Byzas decided that whoever had built on the Asian side of the Bosporus, rather than the European side, must be blind, and so the prophecy was fulfilled. Byzas, being humble, named the city after himself, and so Byzantion was born.

Istanbul/Constantinople/Byzantium on a modern day map. Google maps, to be precise!

Pre-Constantine Era:

Byzantion was a colony of the Greek City Megara, and never did much. For a while it was little more than a fishing village. It eventually became a roman colony, and was expanded a bit by the emperor Septimius Severus, but spent a long time doing nothing other than existing.

Then along came Constantine:

That funny looking guy from a few weeks ago? Well he united the entire Roman Empire after a few wars, and was also the first ‘Christian’ emperor of Rome. Deciding to make a name for himself, and move away a little from paganism, he REALLY built on Byzantium, introducing a forum, imperial palace and hippodrome- all the necessary trappings of a classical city. Byzantium became the capital of the Eastern Roman empire, and when formally opened in 330- Constantine took a note out of Byzas’ book, and named it after himself. Thus, Constantinople was born.

The Eastern Roman Empire:

When Rome fell in 476, Constantinople retained much of Rome’s culture and ideals. People referred to themselves as Romans, and under Justinian regained much of the old empire again. Over the next few centuries, due to increasingly prevalent Arab, Slav and Avar consquests (as well as some VERY significant disagreements with the pope!) the empire slowly decreased, along with its influence over the rest of Europe. Nevertheless, Constantinople kept going. Until 1453.

Suddenly… the Ottomans:

The Ottomans are interesting for a lot of reasons, they were the first politically important non-Arab Muslims, but they also managed to conquer Constantinople. Within a few decades the city was utterly transformed, Hagia Sophia became a mosque, and the Topaki palace was constructed. As society changed, Christian intellectuals left the city to Europe (which is speculated to be one of the causes of the renaissance!). The Ottoman Empire grew significantly, taking most of the regions previously owned by the Byzantines, and lasted till 1923. The city continued to be called a Turkish variant of Constantinople, but Istanbul, a colloquialism for the city was adopted along with its new republic following Ottoman collapse. Istanbul is a derivative of εἰς την πολις, meaning ‘in the city’ in Greek- harking back to its classical roots.

So that’s all for now. I have summed up 2000+ years  of history in 5 paragraphs- my lecturers would cry! Anyway, I’m off for now!

-Rachael! xxx

Flatmates to the Rescue

Hello!

Due to events in which my laptop split in half, and the following aftermath- I am unable to post the actually post I wrote this week.

So I am sorry for this very short version- in which due to an inability of me to think of much exciting to say, I am quizzing my flatmates for interesting things to say to you.

No. 1- Nathan- His interesting history fact that P.G Wodehouse (an author he has assured me- I am not so well read as Emily) used to throw his letters out a window rather than post them- in the hope someone else would pick them up and do it for him. Although, after further discussion Nathan isn't sure this is entirely true.

No.2- Heather, diverting from the history topic I gave her, has told me if you put both your fists together they are the size of your brain. Nathan assures us however this is definitely not true. He claims to have seen a human brain. I didn't enquire further.

My other flatmates are either not in my flat, or revising for a test. Nathan tells me he has another fact.

No.3- Nathan says Tycho Brahe (an astronomer? I don't know) had a pet moose who he got drunk, and then the moose fell down the stairs. I have no idea if this fact is true.

No.4- Heather- she says she has no more facts and can I please stop bothering her by insisting she gives me facts like an intellectual monkey. Apparently that is what google is for.

No.5- Google- Pinnochio is Italian for 'pine head'. I don't know Italian so it is up to you guys to use google translate and work it out!

So, for now I am done. I will be back next week (although I have a big Greek test so maybe not- but I should be!)

-Rachael xxx

P.s Heather says if you stretch out a french horn it reaches 200ft. Google says this is an overestimate an the length is 20ft. It seems I can't tell you anything actually true.

Heather also tells me the author George Sand (actually a woman) had an affair with Chopin,

And an Iconoclast in a Pear Tree

Hello, bonjour, all

Before I get started I would like to clarify I DID NOT call Bryony and Emily rude things in Ancient Greek- if only because I don't know the vocab yet!

I wasn't sure what to write about this week, I wanted to do something Christmassy as it's my last post before Xmas- but was stuck for what to say! I considered writing something about Augustus- the roman emperor for the FIRST Christmas, but alas all I know about him is from I, Claudius (a good book and better show, I recommend it!) which may not be the best source.

So keeping with a religious theme, I thought I could talk about iconoclasm. I know Emily studied this regarding the puritans in the (17th? 18th?) century, but I'm going to push back well beyond that to the 600s, where the whole issue began.

So, some clarification rachael, what the hell are you on about?

Iconoclasm is a centuries long debate that has existed between the Catholic and Orthodox Church (later as Emily would explain, the Protestant as well, but they don't turn up for another 900 years to what I'm looking at so let's just pretend they don't exist right now) regarding the nature of images in religion. Orthodox priests argue that by praying to an image of a saint or Christ, it is the same as praying to the saint of Christ themselves.  Catholics dispute this- saying praying to an image is heresy (or something along those lines)

What kicked this all off then?

To understand the catalyst for iconoclasm we have to go back to 626, when the Persians and Avars attacked Constantinople. While the roots of the conflict go back far beyond that- it's probably the best starting point. I'll explain the awesome story of how the Byzantines exploded the Avar fleet another day, but the myth that surrounded Constantinople's victory was that Patriarch Sergius paraded a cloth used by Christ around the city walls, and it's holy power destroyed the attacking armies. Its a great story (also not true) but it also serves as one of the first examples of a relic being powerful because of its inert holiness. Over the next few decades, as rapid Islamic conquests weakened the empire and ignited a new religious fervour in the people, relics became much more important to the Christian world, eventually becoming objects of worship. Of course, there are only so many pieces of cloth used by saints, and finger bones to go round, so people unable to acquire a real relic (well, probably fake but real as far as they were concerned) began to focus their worship on an image of Christ or a saint instead. People began to use these images as an intermediary to Christ, which sort of breaks a few commandments, and therefore didn't go down well with everyone.

So who were the iconoclasts and iconophiles?

Iconoclasts hated the use of images as a way or worship. While they had no issue with holy figures being represented in art, they resented the idea of people praying TO an image, rather than straight to God. Meanwhile, iconophiles supported the use of images as an intermediary. It's also important to remember a vast amount of the ancient population was illiterate, so the only way they could really access holy teachings was through these icons. Consequently, there were a lot more iconophiles than iconoclasts.

How did the Pope come into this?

Brief structure of the ancient church- in rome you had a pope, in several other cities (including Constantinople) the leading Christian figures were patriarchs. Now, these WEREN'T the same as the pope, but that is maybe the easier way to think of them right now.  So the pope was an iconoclast- but the Byzantine patriarchs were iconophiles. Therefore, through the western world succeeding popes continued to fuel developments in religion in keeping with their version of Christianity, driving further splits down the centre of the ancient church.

And then they got petty, right?

Exactly. They got REALLY petty. It became a competition to see who could convert more people to their brand of the religion, and when the Byzantines won by converting the king of Bulgaria, the pope was angry. Suddenly a new piece of church doctrine, Filioque appeared in Rome, and without going in to much detail about what it meant- it seriously angered the Byzantines. For the next 200 years the two factions tolerated each other, but in 1054 the inevitable split occurred. The first major division in the Christian church would be followed by several more over the next few centuries.

So Rachael, other than a vague religious overtone how do you intend to relate this post to Christmas?

Ah ha, now there you have me. What's interesting to note, is that due to the division in the church, while many catholic countries adopted the gregorian calendar after it was created by pope Gregory in 1582, orthodox churches continued to use Julius Caesar's Julian calendar. The consequence? While both churches celebrated Christmas on the 25th December, no one agreed when this was, and the date was several days apart. This continued until 1923, when the Greeks adopted the gregorian calendar.

So... Merry Christmas! That's all I have to say for now. I'll be back next Saturday- on the account I get time to write something! :-)

Xxx

Akhenaten- Or how to make the Ancient Egyptians hate you in 3 easy steps

Good news Everyone!

I am home for Christmas! I arrived back today and am now prepared for 4 weeks of vague relaxation, and most importantly CHRISTMAS!

This week Bryony asked us to try at something. I had an essay to write, and I feel that counts as trying- so challenge achieved! Unfortunately I didn’t get a medal, as life isn’t like Mario Kart.

So I have been very busy this week, what with writing my essay, then celebrating having written my essay, and haven’t had much time to sit down and write a blog post. Consequently, my planned epic on Egyptian history is shortened to a few pieces of information on one pharaoh, but as I usually ramble too much maybe being snappy will help!

So I’m going to discuss Akhenaten. I also left my book in my suitcase, meaning this is all from memory- and therefore I may make mistakes, or misspell Akhenaten. But nevertheless!

Who was he?

Akhenaten was an 18^th Dynasty Pharaoh, ruling from around 1353-1336 BCE. His 17 year reign contained some of the most drastic changes that ever occurred in Egyptian history, impacting the religion, art and empire of the country.

So what did he do to religion?

Egypt was a polytheistic country, with an awesome pantheon of gods with wings and cat heads and stuff. Osiris had blue skin and ruled the underworld. Hathor had cow ears. Pretty cool deities’ right? Well Akhenaten decided he’d had enough of that, and thought monotheism was the way to go. He began closing (some) temples, determined everyone would now worship the ‘Aten’, the solar disc. Akhenamun (as he was then known) changed his name to reflect the new state religion, and built a new capital city called Akhetaten (I know these names are confusing! But bear with me) with a grand temple to worship the sun from.

What happened to the artwork then?

It’s fair to say Egyptian art wasn’t very exciting. Governed by rules and decorum it is pretty dull, figures forming the same positions, and committing the same actions to display an intended message. Anyway, under Akhenaten the repetitive nature of Egyptian art decreased. Figures became more relaxed, there was some diversity in bod shape and expressions, and notably faces became elongated. Intimacy in the royal family had been a feature of the art for the entire 18^th dynasty, but under Akhenaten this became much more pronounced, and there are many famous works of him, his queen Nefertiti and their daughters together. Also, the Aten appeared A LOT. Unlike previous gods the Aten wasn’t depicted with a human form, but as a circle with sun rays coming from it. Essentially, an ancient form of this:

Perhaps without the sunglasses though

How did he screw up his empire?

Ah, now that is where you have me. I don't know. I haven’t got my notes beside me. I’ll check Wikipedia for you. Nope, not that useful. Basically, he was instrumental in LOSING the empire. He didn’t get on that well with the neighbouring Kings, and the Hittites took at least one province. My lectures focuses mostly on his artwork, so I can’t tell you much more!

So how did people feel about him?

They HATED him. The priesthood held a lot of power, and owned a lot of land in ancient Egypt. Having their temples closed and their gods persecuted did not go down that well with them. While the dynamics of the Egyptian religion made the Pharaoh infallible, and therefore prevented any reaction during Akhenaten’s life, he was pretty much wiped out of the history books afterwards, along with his son, Tutankhamun (born Tutankhaten!)

Overall, Akhenaten didn’t have a great record.

Oh well, have a picture of him- until next week my friends!

The babies in this image are maybe the strongest evidence that aliens DID in fact live in ancient Egypt!

All roads lead to Constantinople

Χαιρετε φιλε!

^ behold, ancient Greek. The accents have been entirely ignored because frankly life’s too short, but nevertheless look what I can do! (FYI that says hello friends)

Anyway, on to some sort of topic, this week the challenge was to do something that made me happy, then write about it. I’ve been too busy to do much, but today (or Thursday, as that’s when I’m writing this) I had an induction for a curatorial volunteer role with my universities research and collections- which is a MASSIVE step in the right direction for what I eventually want to do with my life. So that has made me happy, and was sort of fun. Also, I have started looking at houses- which is also good- if stressful! J

Nevertheless, onto the rest of my post!

The Roman Empire is not ancient history. Well, it depends on who you ask, but for the purposes of this post I am going to pretend that you have asked me and then just rant about Byzantium for 600 words.

When I decided I wanted to study ancient history, I found a lot of people felt it necessary to test my credentials by asking ‘when does ancient history end?’ Of course, this is an important question, for when did we slip from hoplites and helots into Saxons and serfdom? When did the Middle Ages (the so called dark ages that were confined only to Europe, I might add) take over from the emperors and legions? The answer, as with all historical analysis, is decidedly unclear. And to be honest, it seems a bit unfair to expect a first year student to know the answer! Nevertheless, I will avoid the question, by answering another one. While the line between ancient and medieval is decidedly blurred, I propose that the Roman Empire did not end until 1453.

I know what you’re thinking, and it’s probably ‘shut up’. It’s a well-known fact that in 476 CE the Goths invaded Rome, and with the collapse of the city, was the collapse of civilisation until the renaissance. As problematic as this view is, even taken on face value, it can be only argued this was the collapse of western civilisation, for the eastern Roman Empire was still going strong.

So some clarification, when I say Byzantium/Constantinople I am referring to the capital of the eastern Roman Empire, originally a fishing village where modern Istanbul lies, and expanded under the emperor Severus. Due to power struggles in Rome, occasionally two emperors would emerge, one in the west, and another in the east. The eastern emperor has control of Egypt, parts of Africa and the other Asian provinces. The emperor Constantine I (last week’s funny looking fellow) renamed the town (Byzantium at this point) Constantinople, and greatly expanded it, making it Constantine’s capital city. And when Rome fell, Constantinople was still being ruled by the eastern Roman emperors.

So how Roman was this Roman city? Its undoubtable the state mutated, being so removed from Rome, though I firmly believe it’s still the Roman Empire. Byzantium had been a Greek village, and Constantinople’s Hellenistic roots were apparent throughout its history. Further, Constantine’s reason for expanding the city (well one reason- but I won’t go into too much on it now) was to create a Christian capital, removed from the pagan associations of Rome, and some argue (though not necessarily me) it was chiefly a Christian city. Therefore, with these two factors in mind, I shall explain why Byzantium, was still Rome.

With Greek roots, Constantinople is often considered to be a Greek city after Rome’s fall. With all due respect to those who hold this view, it’s quite blatantly wrong. The Greek influence in the city was apparent, but this is no way invalidated the romaness (that’s a word now deal with it) of the state. While Greek was the most commonly spoken language, and became the legal language under Heraclius in the 600s, Greek had also been the lingua Franca of Rome; therefor this change in no way prevents the city being considered roman. Further, much of Rome’s roots as a civilisation had been in Greek colonies. Aeneas, their mythological founder, was a hero of the Trojan War. In Sicily, Naples and all of central Italy Greek city states had existed for centuries before the foundation of Rome, to the extent Italy was considered Magna Graecia, by the Greeks. I won’t even begin to explain the similarity between the gods, because it would take far too long. Nevertheless, much of the art, architecture and society of Rome were based in the society of the Greeks who migrated there, and consequently it would be ignorant to look at the Hellenism within Byzantine society, and argue this made it un-roman.

The second argument against why Constantinople was simply a continuation of Roman society is that is became Christianised. Personally, I don’t believe Constantine intended the city to be a Christian capital, however I could write 1000+ words on that matter, and you don’t want to hear me talk about it right now. But even on the assumption that Constantinople was meant to be Christian alternative to Rome- it certainly didn’t have any religious pretentions that Rome didn’t. At the council of Nicaea in 325, three Christian cities were established, each ruled by a Patriarch. These included Alexandra, Antioch, and Rome. Constantinople was not given the role of a Christian city within Constantine’s lifetime- and it was Rome where he built 7 churches. It’s doubtable that Constantine even built any churches in Constantinople, besides that attached to his tomb. Besides, between 250 and 350 the Christian population of the empire had grown from 1 million to 34 million- Christianity as a major religion was in no way endemic to Constantinople, and by 476, Christianity was a vital part of Roman society, and by continuing the religious traditions Byzantium was continuing the Roman Empire.

The Roman Empire in 96 CE

The Byzantine empire in 555 CE... does it look a bit familiar to anyone?

Of course, there are plenty of differences between Byzantium post-476 and the Roman Empire at its peak- however I hope I have made my point clear, that for all intents and purposes, Byzantium was Rome, the people spoke the languages of the empire, followed one of its largest religions, and most importantly considered themselves Roman. Just to highlight this even further, following the Ottoman occupation of Constantinople in 1453, Sultan Mehmed II took the mantle Kaysar, which was the Turkish translation of Caesar. The title was still being used in Constantinople, as it had in Rome. So next time you are asked when ancient history ended and the middle ages began (for some reason- seriously is it just me who gets asked this all the time?) tell the questioner you have no bloody clue whatsoever, but the Roman empire did last until 1453. 

Too busy plus too tired equals bad post

Bonjour,

Before I continue- I have an apology. What is it? It’s simply I have nothing to say. Nothing of interest to tell you. I have an epic post discussing Greek women planned, but I haven’t been able to write it coherently yet, so the idea is shelved for now, hopefully to reappear once I have studied the topic further. I am also incredibly busy, and lack the time to write, or even think, of another topic. I really am sorry, and I apologise to Bryony as well for this terrible post, but I really have nothing to say. I have some pictures from my trip to the British museum to upload- but am too busy/ lazy/tired to sort that now.

So, I am going to sign off apologetically, but not without answering this week’s challenge. What motivates me? Failure. I am terrified of failure, and I am going to fail my Greek test if I don’t go and do some work now.

So, au revoir, mes amis. I apologise for my rude and brief conduct, and as a final apology leave you with a picture of Constantine, because, for all I find him fascinating, you can’t deny he was a bit of a funny looking chap.

-Rachael xxx 

He had some great ears, you can't deny

P.s- I just saw my Sparta post had two whole page views! This is internet fame right?

Sparta: As recommended by Lenin

Hello friends. I hope you are well and not dead. But judging by the number of hits my
posts have received so far, you are likely all dead. In which case, that sucks mate, hope you feel better soon.

That paragraph above is sloppy writing. I mean seriously, as a former English student, I
should not have changed from talking to a group, as I first addressed you, to talking to one
person. I was aware as I wrote this, but by the end it seemed to work better comedically if I
spoke to you guys as one person, rather than a group.

Talking about good comedy, do you know what the secret to good comedy is? Timing.
Hmmm. Maybe that particular joke works better out loud.

Nevertheless, this weeks challenge dictates I tell you guys my favourite T.V quote. I've
been stressing over this since Monday- despite hours of back and forths with Emily over the
years, where we just scream quotes at one another, in my hour of need these have all
abandoned me. Alas, I am going to have to cheat, and revert to a radio show quote. Please
don't hate me. Anyway, has anyone listened to cabin pressure? 'Hey Cheif, I might be wrong, but I think we might be flying into a mountain'...

(That was the quote. Seriously, the show is great, and makes sense, unlike this post)
But onto my topic this week, and guess what? I'm actually organised! I'm writing this at
3 minutes to 11 on FRIDAY evening. Who knows, maybe I'll write a fantastic and complete
essay tonight, and I can get it posted early tomorrow. Likely not. Never mind- I'm going on
tangents a bit this week aren't I? Is that another tangent? Is it possible to get back to my main
point from here? Let's play word association... Tangent... Maths... Triangles... Pythagoras...
Ancient Greece... Sparta... SPARTA!

So, without further ado, I will talk about Sparta. Most famous in our generation for the
2006 film they inspired, or rather the comic they inspired, which was turned into a film, the
Spartans were many things. Communist (almost?) Fascist (says Hitler) yet most importantly,
badass. My Greek history professor is a massive fan of Sparta, so I had an extensive lecture
on the topic a few weeks ago, as a result I am basically going to use those notes right now, so
just sit back and pretend you are in my lecture theatre. (If you need help imagining just
picture some annoying guy eating crisps loudly is on one side of you, and on the other side a
girl is apologising profusely to a flatmate for throwing up in her sink last night- you get the
idea).

Anyway, why not use the film as guidance? (Because that's totally not what my lecturer
did, and I'm not copying him in any way, seriously guys, if copy-write comes into this, I
actually haven't) We see Spartans sporting glorious red capes, which is important because they actually DID. Well, sort of red. Also purple, probably looked a bit reddish though. You see,
Spartans were Lacedaemonians (Spartans is a bit easier to say) and around Lacedaemon
(Sparta) there was a special type of mollusc, that was needed to produce the red/purple dye.
This was incredibly expensive, but because of how many molluscs there were near Sparta,
lots of soldiers wore a red cape- basically to say 'look how badass we are- we all get fancy
capes, screw you Athens.'

Capes aside, that last sentence was most of Spartan history.

I'm not going to discuss the upbringing of Spartans too much. Essentially, it sucked.
Young boys were taken from their family at age 7, and immediately put into harsh training.
Food was limited to barley and groats, maybe bay leaves. They were given little clothes, and
routinely flogged. Life was no easier for the women either, so push aside any notions of the
demure and oppressed Greek mistress. No, women were made to exercise regularly, and
dance naked in front of men from childhood, so they were afraid to be overweight or
unattractive. Stories were spoon fed to both genders of the ideal and heroic Hoplite. But why
was this the case? Because Sparta was a military state, and they dreamed of making the
perfect soldier. Men joined mess halls, and were taught to fight, women were taught to bear
healthy sons, who could then become soldiers themselves.

According to some, namely the Russian government 1921-1991, Sparta was also communist. The polis has long been held up as an ideal of equality, men eat together from all
walks of life. Regardless of birth or status, you were a soldier, committed to your cause and
country. There was some measure of democracy, 'Ephors' and an assembly were elected, who
could, in theory, say yes or no to the decisions of the two kings. Generalships were held
annually. Currency wasn't gold, but iron rods, and everyone wore awesome and expensive
purple/red capes. Even the women seem to have had it better than in many other Greeks
states (though I shall contest this another time, when I can be bothered) and were respected
for being healthy and for being good, strong and proud mothers. On face value, maybe the
soviets were on to something, about Sparta at least. Not on everything else of course.
Especially Stalin. He was a bad idea.

But this was not an equal society, by any means. None of Greece is the pillar of
democracy we hold it up to be, and Sparta is no exception to the rule. While life was relatively
equal for citizens (in the last three sentences I have used italics twice, guess what I just found
out how to do?) it was by no means a classless utopia. Mess halls you entered were pretty
wealth oriented, and a farmers son was not going to end up in the same one as a prince. Also
the practice of eugenics doesn't seem that egalitarian, for you see, while in other Greek States
the father could decide whether or not to expose a child, in Sparta, that was the States
decision. Yes, the government had the power over life and death of every child born . Sparta,
unequivocally, was not an equal and democratic state.

But the biggest argument against spartan equality was that any arguments in its favour
are only applicable to citizens. And if you weren't a citizen? You were likely a helot. Helots
were slaves, from conquered Spartan territories usually, who had no land rights, and were
severely oppressed, despite vastly outnumbering their oppressors. These men and women
worked the farms and did the other seemingly menial tasks that kept the state running while
the rest of the polis was off playing soldiers. But do you know what happens when you leave
severely undermined and angry people behind while you go off to try and invade Athens
(again)? The answer, as Tsar Nicholas found out, is revolt.

(Disclaimer, I am not saying Tsar Nicholas II invaded Athens. That again is merely an
example of my sloppy writing and the fact I've referenced Russian history too much so now
it's stuck in my head)

Helots had a tendency to rebel when The Spartan army buggered off for any period of
time, or if there was an earthquake. Or if they were just generally annoyed. And the army
had to return, and put the revolution down. This worked, Sparta due to their efforts did have
an effective and good army, and they survived for a few hundred years without any major
government changes, but it still highlights the instability that lay at the heart of their state.
Their definition of equality was limited, and the internal issues it caused far too many for one
post.

So behold, Sparta. Not so much communists, fighting for glory and equality of man,
than viscous yet excellent soldiers. Life in the polis was hard, demanding, and dare I say it?
Spartan (there goes my one pun for the week, enjoy). It's now 23:40 Friday night, and my post
is practically written. Just one more movie quote for you guys

THIS IS SPARTA!
(Come on, don't judge me, it had to be said!)

Also, just an interesting point. My IPad recognised the word Stalin, but not Hitler. I wonder what that says- conspiracy theorists- away!

Rachael xxx

A Necessary War?

The challenge this week is for me to discuss my favourite war film. I don’t watch war films often, so I am going to have to go with ‘War Horse’, as it’s the only one I remember seeing. Nevertheless, I am ashamed to admit how much I cried, and I am saddened to find out how much better than me horses are at acting.

I had a lot of trouble with this week’s post. Whenever I found myself trying to explain my intended topic, the Persian and Avar attack on Constantinople, and the badassry that fought them off, I felt myself getting excited to write about it. Yet I couldn’t justify to myself posting, only a few days after the 11^th, such a romanticised view of such a bloody conflict. Because while we wear poppies to remember WWI and WWII, there is no fundamental difference between those terrible wars and those fought throughout our history.

War is terrible. War is devastating. Yet, war is, above all, political. I remember being stunned when in my history lessons, as it struck me the lie I had been told my whole life. The soldiers who had died in WWI did not die fighting for our freedom. They died because the British government saw Germany threatening their interests in Africa. They died because Kaiser Wilhelm believed in Weltpolitik. They died because of Tsar Nicholas, and because his pride wouldn’t allow him to let the Serbian government down again. That’s not to trivialise the deaths from all of our wars, and the ones still happening, but rather highlight their tragedy.

Donald Kagan has argued that the Peloponnesian war, a conflict between Sparta and Athens in the 400s BCE, started just as in 1914, through misunderstandings and rivalry. And to an extent, he is correct. As with the assassination of Archduke Franz-Ferdinand, the whole affair began when Athens fought with Corinth over Corcyra, and a delicate system of alliances forced Sparta to declare war on Athens. Nevertheless, just as in WWI, it would be ignorant to suggest the catalyst was the only cause. Innate distrust between the two city states, radically different political ideas, insults, revolution and a change in leadership all contributed to Sparta attacking Athens. The conflict, initiated by a clash of interests and ideals between two powers went on to last years. As with any war, the political scene led to those deaths, and they can’t be justified.  

This is merely one example however. Politics has dominated warfare for millennia, because how many wars have been started by farmers and bakers? The War of the Roses happened because Henry VII felt he should be king instead. The American War of Independence began because of taxes, and despite the clear horrors of slavery, modern historians have argued it was instead the economy that shaped the start of the Civil War in the USA. Even the so called ‘cold war’ was based on the ideology of the leaders, and had it not been for the deterrent of Nuclear weapons I have no doubt we would now be learning about the Russo-American war in history lessons. Clearly, this is an over-simplification of many factors that contributed to our historical conflicts, but politics has always been a leading cause. And even now, while we wear poppies to commemorate the dead of two of our countries greatest military tragedies, we still face more conflict. Until a few weeks ago, we were in Afghanistan, and only a few years ago we were in Iraq. As oil and the economy, and politics, define our interests in the Middle East, I doubt it will be long before we are fighting in Iraq again.

Throughout history, war has been started by politicians, won by tacticians and fought by the soldiers. Innocent men who rarely have anything to do with the conflict beyond where they were born.

And that is why we wear poppies.

It is why we must remember them.

Introducing... Nothing very interesting

Bonjour mes amis! Je m’appelle Rachael! No, scratch that, I am not French and my accent is terrible.

Nonetheless, to get started I am Rachael, and the wonderful Ryon has done me the honour of asking me to write the Saturday posts for the blog. So, that is what I shall do, unless I am incredibly boring (which I suspect I might be) in which case I promise I’ll stop!

But without further ado- on! To the weeks challenge!

Now, a disclaimer, I have never read TFIOS nor seen the film, so I am not in a position to give you any well thought out advice on the matter. However, I am fortuitous in the fact that this week’s challenge is to write about what I find positive- as my personal favourite subject is ancient history, and I am hoping to relate most of my posts to the topic- then I feel I am accurate in saying that classical history is what I feel positive about.

With the muddle of essays and presentations I have to prepare over the next few weeks- stressed is an appropriate word to how I am currently feeling. That’s not to say I’m too overwhelmed- or struggling to cope- because I have managed to set an order to my work and organised myself- but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally look at my multitude of tasks and ask myself why I picked a degree that makes me want to throw an amphora out a window.

It boils down to this quote.

‘We are standing on the edge of a hole in time’

I found it at a museum in Brussels nearly a year ago now, but throughout that time it has remained with me. This quote, for me at least, exemplifies everything I love about history, and the fact I can’t understand why everyone doesn’t love it. Every step we take has been walked down be people before, and every brick we touch has been touched by someone else. We are not original or unique- because there have been 2 millennia of human history and every feeling we have has been felt by someone before. I find this comforting, because regardless of how I feel right now, how stressed and upset I can get- we are not alone- and it’s ignorant to believe we are unique in our thoughts and emotions. It’s easy to put ancient cultures on a pedestal, or drag them down and call them uncivilised, but we often forget the people behind the actions when we do so. Constantine’s sons’ may have acted oddly to us, but they were people nonetheless, with thoughts, emotions and real lives. As steeped in myth as our history is- everyone in it was the product of their society. Maybe their values were different- so do we have the right to judge them? Perhaps we would have acted the same if we had been raised with the same morals. When a roman emperor starts a civil war, can you blame his sons from disturbing the peace to do the same?

History isn’t just about those figures though. It goes further than that, and deeper. If you care about Octavian, then you also care about his wife, mother, slaves and their children. Because these are the people who shared his life. Graffiti in Pompeii is just as vulgar as our own- though ideals change- and no matter how stressful it is writing about the socio-political struggles of early dynastic Egypt, whenever I sit down to learn about hoplites or Theodora, I smile, and the stress seems worth it.

This piece works as propaganda for history. I don’t mean to bore you and I feel I may have gone a tad off topic- but history is what is positive for me, which is why I intend to give each of my posts a classical spin. It’s a comfort blanket to wrap myself in, a warm cup of tea to nourish the soul.

More accurately, history is a hole in time, and to experience it, all you have to do is jump in. 

Saturday for this week

OK so this is Ryon here I just want any readers that we have to know that one of our girls (the one who does Saturday duh :P) has felt like she can't keep up with all the work that she is doing and do a blog every week. So until we find someone else... or if she returns... it could happen... right? Anyway I am gonna start this off... I will then pass it on to Lily, she will pass it on to Emily and so on and so forth. I think it would be a nice idea for this weeks Saturday to so something a little different and stand out a bit... I would like to keep it in order... but I guess with schedules and everything then we might not be able to... so it might just be when we have the time... but guys it has to be before Saturday... and maybe add a little touch from your blog idea... so this is mine coming to a close I will post a song all because I am watching Pocahontas with a little horror ;) not really she's as good as gold.
Colours of the Wind - Pocahontas

Lily here. I'm a little bit at a loss for words to type as its 00:41 and I'm supposed to be doing my homework. Shh, don't tell my lecturer. Anyway, its sad to head that our Saturday girl is finding it difficult to deliver a Saturday post each week. Never the less, I wish her all the best in what she's doing and hope that she finds some spare time from the stresses of work to pop her feet up and have a cuppa every now and again. I've decided that for this little slice of Saturday I'm also going to put a song... well because, who doesn't love a good angsty song about not conforming to the norms of society? 

Simple Plan - Me Against the World

I remember listening to this song when I first started secondary school. I struggled to really find where I fitted in and this song really helped me to realise that school isn't about fitting in and being popular. I spent the first 4 years of secondary school wishing that I was popular. It wasn't until I let go of this silly wish that I found one of my bests friends to this day. You don't need to fit in to find happiness. If you're true to yourself, happiness will come to you. 

Until next time;

Over and out, 

Lily.

                                                                          Emily here.

So, this week has been about standing out. For my little contribution to Saturday this week I am going to post a little bit of important and recent history for you. You may have been to see a beautiful film that came out this week called Pride, the (mostly) true story about how LGSM (Lesbians and Gay Men Support the Miners) aided the strike in the 1980s. The video I have posted is the REAL video created by LGSM. It's very moving, cheerful and shows how important it is to stand out and help even if you are shunned for doing so.
Take twenty minutes, watch it. I hope you are moved by it as much as me.
Emily.

I was so busy watching 'The perks of being a wallflower' with my housemate that I forgot the time, it's an okay film, if a little bleak and meaningful for my tastes.

Having recently moved into university accommodation with strangers and no plates (bowls, cups, pans, we could be here all day) I have learnt many things, some of which I may share with you now.

1. Not everyone microwaves their cereal, more interesting is the fact that some people do.
2. The phrase "ménage à trois" is not in as common usage as I thought (and your housemates do not appreciate it when you tell them we could have two sets in the house).
3. The housing is grim and you won't care as much if you chip paint off the wall with glue dots.
4. (Related to 3) Nothing will ever be as funny as making a cling film screen on the front door for your housemates to walk into late at night.
5. Nicki Minaj is truly the strongest test of your worth I.e. How many times can we watch "Anaconda" before madness grips (it's more than you'd think)


But personally I think the best tip would be to never move anywhere where the hills have a gradient of 25%, which for those of you wondering is just a little bit less less steep than a forward slash (///).

So I will be broadcasting my ’spontaneous’ outburst every Saturday from here on out, probably until the end of time, and hopefully I can do enough things in my life to keep up with this rigorous shedule.

- Zoë (don't judge me that I sign off like and old lady)