oops

well i am a complete
fuck
up,
im
a
shit
friend
and
a
shit
blogger

i completely forgot that today was sunday and that i even write a blog XD been bussy with rehersals droping out of a tv programe (which if i get the balls to do so one day then i will talk to ya'll about it) because i am going back slowly to the side of myself which i hate and think that im too ugly to be on tv so thats why i dropped out. BUT today i went to comic con for the first time, i meet Dominic, Emily and Luke (from in the flesh) got hugs and advice. i also meet the guy who acts as bronn from game of thrones and he singed it calling me tyrian so that was cool!!! and i also meet sean and jesse from storage hunters (i am gonna add some photos which i have, my phone ran out of charge so i have to wait for my friend to post em on facebook) i meet an owl called gandalf, optimus prime and loads just check the photos bellow not in the mood no more. BUT IT WAS AWSOME!!!! :D

but on the 2nd of decemember at midnight i will be on tv doing some shit acting (this was back in college where i really wanted to do it but we did not get a chance to rehearse it so its gonna be cringy) so you can give it a watch if you want. i really dont wanna right todays blogg really not in the right mindset just gonna watch some pewdiepie videos and comment on them coz i can XD ucch good bye my pritties

ginger out

Too busy plus too tired equals bad post

Bonjour,

Before I continue- I have an apology. What is it? It’s simply I have nothing to say. Nothing of interest to tell you. I have an epic post discussing Greek women planned, but I haven’t been able to write it coherently yet, so the idea is shelved for now, hopefully to reappear once I have studied the topic further. I am also incredibly busy, and lack the time to write, or even think, of another topic. I really am sorry, and I apologise to Bryony as well for this terrible post, but I really have nothing to say. I have some pictures from my trip to the British museum to upload- but am too busy/ lazy/tired to sort that now.

So, I am going to sign off apologetically, but not without answering this week’s challenge. What motivates me? Failure. I am terrified of failure, and I am going to fail my Greek test if I don’t go and do some work now.

So, au revoir, mes amis. I apologise for my rude and brief conduct, and as a final apology leave you with a picture of Constantine, because, for all I find him fascinating, you can’t deny he was a bit of a funny looking chap.

-Rachael xxx 

He had some great ears, you can't deny

P.s- I just saw my Sparta post had two whole page views! This is internet fame right?

The Chronicles of Narnia

I have wanted to do a piece about these wonderful books for some time, so here we are; Today I am going to discuss the beautiful series that is C.S Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia. There are seven, some of which are more widely known than others:
- The Magician's Nephew
- The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

My Boy Caspian. 

- The Horse and his Boy
- Prince Caspian
- The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
- The Silver Chair
- The Last Battle
These books were very important to me as I grew up, Prince Caspian was one of my first loves and the casting of Ben Barnes when I was twelve didn't help this. Possibly paralleled with Michael Morpurgo, they are he reason I enjoy reading so much now I am (Almost) an adult. (I just arranged my first rented house this morning - official passage to Adulthood?)

Don't think I am diverging, for one of the key themes of the Narnia books is growing up. Maybe not in so literal a sense as aging, but religiously, for sure. Let us not forget that Narnia is a complex allegory of Biblical themes - The sacrifice and rebirth of Aslan to absolve Edmund from his sins; sound familiar? For three books we follow (mainly Lucy and Edmund's religious journey, they become good people (Queen Lucy the Valiant and King Edmund the Just) and when they have finished, culminating in the heroic 'death' of Reepicheep the brave mouse as he goes on to find 'Aslan's Country', Aslan appears as a lamb (!) and tells them that Lucy and Edmund cannot return to Narnia, for they must learn to find him in their own world; 

 "'I am [in your world],' said Aslan. 'But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little you may know me better there'"

To conclude this sectoin about Religion, I must skip to the final book; The Last Battle which is, quite honestly, sinister. Really damn creepy and, please excuse me if you are religious, denotes one of the things I don't like about religion. This idea that, even if one leads a good, fulfilling life, a lack of belief or being considered 'unworthy' or 'distracted' will mean that you are pretty much doomed. At the very end of the series, The entire realm of Narnia is ceasing to exist, Father Time has blown his horn, the stars are falling and the Pevensies, Polly and Diggory, and their friends and family have all been killed in a train crash in our world, with Peter, Edmund, Lucy, Eustace, Jill, Polly and Diggory, 'free from old aches' were dragged to Narnia by their loyalty. These, and select few others we have met through the series, are 'Saved', taken to Aslan's world. The others, mad with panic, are considered 'unworthy', the animals have their talking ability taken from them and are left to deal with the end of the world. Not cool.

You may have noticed that our dear 'Queen Susan the Gentle' was not mentioned in my list of the saved. She was, by luck, not in the train crash that killed her whole family. Was she saved? No. She was left to suffer. 'No longer a friend of Narnia'. It is made quite clear to us that Susan, all grown up, does not conform with societal ideals of womanhood. In Jill's words 

 "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations."

C.S Lewis was a mysogenistic little man, indeed. 
She has clearly stopped believing in Narnia (allegorically, she has moved away from religion) Eustace Scrubb tells us she said to the others:

"What wonderful memories you have! Fancy you still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children," 

 Of course, these are very strong ideals from the time, we cannot automatically assume that Lewis was considered outrageous for his ideas. In fact, Susan's fate is left ambiguous, it is possible - probable, even - that in the wake of the train accident Susan re-established her faith and eventually found her way to Narnia after dying perhaps of old age. This is a very complex point, and I found some wonderful articles going into detail about Lewis' misogyny HERE and HERE. They make interesting reading.
Another example of opinions of the time is the slightly racist attitude shown in the books, with the dark haired and very Jewish-Like militants from Telmar, the antagonists in Prince Caspian, and the Calormenes in The Horse and His Boy who bear a striking resemblance to a Muslim faith where even the recial slur 'darkie' is used against them.  The first article above explains better and in more detail than I can in the time I have left. Of course, these do not stand true throughout, Prince Caspian himself is a Telmarine, and Susan later marries a Calormene, though Edmund is reported saying 'It is a wonder you could find it in your heart to show him such favour'

 But my main argument here is that whilst these are childrens books, these are not books to be read lightly. Lewis claims that the allegorical religion, misogyny and racism were not intentional, that he simply set out to make a story, but all the same, it is there. Clear as day.

In all, this series is a very much treasured and adored series, and even against a backdrop of religious allegories and possible misogyny and racism, these stories do catch the attention of children, of magical worlds that can be found in Wardrobes or in times of strife such as war torn Britain or the return to school, of fauns and talking animals and centaurs, battles where the good triumph and brave little comedy mice. Rambunctious and arrogant and greedy little boys are punished, they learn their lessons and it even becomes almost a competition, As this conversation between Eustace and Edmund shows:

"I'd like to apologise. I'm afraid I've been pretty beastly."

"That's all right," said Edmund. "Between ourselves, you haven't been as bad as I was on my first trip to Narnia. You were only an ass, but I was a traitor."

They are fantastic stories. And wittily written, simple, and all round lovely.I certainly couldn't leave without mentioning my favorite opening line of any book ever:

'There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb. And he almost deserved it.'

Phew, that went deeper than I was intending it to, so sorry. I hope I didn't offend anyone or ruin your childhood. They are fantastic books, just with outdated ideas. I was also a little pushed for time. Wednesdays are pure chaos for me. 
Ta ta for now. 
Emily

Paint The Sky, Make It Yours

Dawin - Just Girly Things

Ok so this weeks quote has fuck all to do with anything. I just think it's a good message.

To me it says that I need to stop waiting for things to happen for me, that I have to make them happen for myself. 

For Example I am back at College basically getting my life on track... I want to do photography as a career, but that wont happen unless I am willing to put the work in and make it happen for myself. 

It took me a whole year to figure out what this quote has summed up in 6 words. And while I sit here with my head slightly like from drinking some Pina Colada (I haven't had a drink in a few weeks don't judge me) I think about this quote more. I hadn't heard this quote until about 3-4 hours ago, and I already want it on my motivational wall.

Ok so reading this (especially coz I schedule it for the date) you won't realise that I took a break for a sneezing fit, now I can't breathe. But, Man, does it sober you up. 

To be honest I'm not sure what this music Monday is about, especially as I have to write it on a Wednesday as I am fairly busy in the next coming days and the fact that I know I am going to be tired on Monday and wont want to post will be the death of me. 

That's really it from me. I will let you guys know that I am now employed, which is fantastic. 

I shall leave you guys with the CHALLENGE and go write my christmas cards, which I only have 20 of... THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!

OK CHALLENGE: so this week it is talk about what keeps you motivated. for me it is a Wall and my friends :)

Loves and Hugs
Ryon
xxx

Sparta: As recommended by Lenin

Hello friends. I hope you are well and not dead. But judging by the number of hits my
posts have received so far, you are likely all dead. In which case, that sucks mate, hope you feel better soon.

That paragraph above is sloppy writing. I mean seriously, as a former English student, I
should not have changed from talking to a group, as I first addressed you, to talking to one
person. I was aware as I wrote this, but by the end it seemed to work better comedically if I
spoke to you guys as one person, rather than a group.

Talking about good comedy, do you know what the secret to good comedy is? Timing.
Hmmm. Maybe that particular joke works better out loud.

Nevertheless, this weeks challenge dictates I tell you guys my favourite T.V quote. I've
been stressing over this since Monday- despite hours of back and forths with Emily over the
years, where we just scream quotes at one another, in my hour of need these have all
abandoned me. Alas, I am going to have to cheat, and revert to a radio show quote. Please
don't hate me. Anyway, has anyone listened to cabin pressure? 'Hey Cheif, I might be wrong, but I think we might be flying into a mountain'...

(That was the quote. Seriously, the show is great, and makes sense, unlike this post)
But onto my topic this week, and guess what? I'm actually organised! I'm writing this at
3 minutes to 11 on FRIDAY evening. Who knows, maybe I'll write a fantastic and complete
essay tonight, and I can get it posted early tomorrow. Likely not. Never mind- I'm going on
tangents a bit this week aren't I? Is that another tangent? Is it possible to get back to my main
point from here? Let's play word association... Tangent... Maths... Triangles... Pythagoras...
Ancient Greece... Sparta... SPARTA!

So, without further ado, I will talk about Sparta. Most famous in our generation for the
2006 film they inspired, or rather the comic they inspired, which was turned into a film, the
Spartans were many things. Communist (almost?) Fascist (says Hitler) yet most importantly,
badass. My Greek history professor is a massive fan of Sparta, so I had an extensive lecture
on the topic a few weeks ago, as a result I am basically going to use those notes right now, so
just sit back and pretend you are in my lecture theatre. (If you need help imagining just
picture some annoying guy eating crisps loudly is on one side of you, and on the other side a
girl is apologising profusely to a flatmate for throwing up in her sink last night- you get the
idea).

Anyway, why not use the film as guidance? (Because that's totally not what my lecturer
did, and I'm not copying him in any way, seriously guys, if copy-write comes into this, I
actually haven't) We see Spartans sporting glorious red capes, which is important because they actually DID. Well, sort of red. Also purple, probably looked a bit reddish though. You see,
Spartans were Lacedaemonians (Spartans is a bit easier to say) and around Lacedaemon
(Sparta) there was a special type of mollusc, that was needed to produce the red/purple dye.
This was incredibly expensive, but because of how many molluscs there were near Sparta,
lots of soldiers wore a red cape- basically to say 'look how badass we are- we all get fancy
capes, screw you Athens.'

Capes aside, that last sentence was most of Spartan history.

I'm not going to discuss the upbringing of Spartans too much. Essentially, it sucked.
Young boys were taken from their family at age 7, and immediately put into harsh training.
Food was limited to barley and groats, maybe bay leaves. They were given little clothes, and
routinely flogged. Life was no easier for the women either, so push aside any notions of the
demure and oppressed Greek mistress. No, women were made to exercise regularly, and
dance naked in front of men from childhood, so they were afraid to be overweight or
unattractive. Stories were spoon fed to both genders of the ideal and heroic Hoplite. But why
was this the case? Because Sparta was a military state, and they dreamed of making the
perfect soldier. Men joined mess halls, and were taught to fight, women were taught to bear
healthy sons, who could then become soldiers themselves.

According to some, namely the Russian government 1921-1991, Sparta was also communist. The polis has long been held up as an ideal of equality, men eat together from all
walks of life. Regardless of birth or status, you were a soldier, committed to your cause and
country. There was some measure of democracy, 'Ephors' and an assembly were elected, who
could, in theory, say yes or no to the decisions of the two kings. Generalships were held
annually. Currency wasn't gold, but iron rods, and everyone wore awesome and expensive
purple/red capes. Even the women seem to have had it better than in many other Greeks
states (though I shall contest this another time, when I can be bothered) and were respected
for being healthy and for being good, strong and proud mothers. On face value, maybe the
soviets were on to something, about Sparta at least. Not on everything else of course.
Especially Stalin. He was a bad idea.

But this was not an equal society, by any means. None of Greece is the pillar of
democracy we hold it up to be, and Sparta is no exception to the rule. While life was relatively
equal for citizens (in the last three sentences I have used italics twice, guess what I just found
out how to do?) it was by no means a classless utopia. Mess halls you entered were pretty
wealth oriented, and a farmers son was not going to end up in the same one as a prince. Also
the practice of eugenics doesn't seem that egalitarian, for you see, while in other Greek States
the father could decide whether or not to expose a child, in Sparta, that was the States
decision. Yes, the government had the power over life and death of every child born . Sparta,
unequivocally, was not an equal and democratic state.

But the biggest argument against spartan equality was that any arguments in its favour
are only applicable to citizens. And if you weren't a citizen? You were likely a helot. Helots
were slaves, from conquered Spartan territories usually, who had no land rights, and were
severely oppressed, despite vastly outnumbering their oppressors. These men and women
worked the farms and did the other seemingly menial tasks that kept the state running while
the rest of the polis was off playing soldiers. But do you know what happens when you leave
severely undermined and angry people behind while you go off to try and invade Athens
(again)? The answer, as Tsar Nicholas found out, is revolt.

(Disclaimer, I am not saying Tsar Nicholas II invaded Athens. That again is merely an
example of my sloppy writing and the fact I've referenced Russian history too much so now
it's stuck in my head)

Helots had a tendency to rebel when The Spartan army buggered off for any period of
time, or if there was an earthquake. Or if they were just generally annoyed. And the army
had to return, and put the revolution down. This worked, Sparta due to their efforts did have
an effective and good army, and they survived for a few hundred years without any major
government changes, but it still highlights the instability that lay at the heart of their state.
Their definition of equality was limited, and the internal issues it caused far too many for one
post.

So behold, Sparta. Not so much communists, fighting for glory and equality of man,
than viscous yet excellent soldiers. Life in the polis was hard, demanding, and dare I say it?
Spartan (there goes my one pun for the week, enjoy). It's now 23:40 Friday night, and my post
is practically written. Just one more movie quote for you guys

THIS IS SPARTA!
(Come on, don't judge me, it had to be said!)

Also, just an interesting point. My IPad recognised the word Stalin, but not Hitler. I wonder what that says- conspiracy theorists- away!

Rachael xxx

'We're all just stories in the end; Let's make it a good one.'

Right, ten minutes to midnight, will I make it? Probably not. Sorry. Uni work got ahead of me this week, and I was at the cinema watching The Imitation Game Which is fantastic, funny and heart wrenching. And true! 

Growing up in Milton Keynes, as I believe all of the bloggers here have (Though correct me if I am mistaken), it is hard to avoid the stories of the workers at Bletchely Park, the work which shortened the war by an estimated two years and founded the entire field of computer science. If you didn't go there on a school trip (one memory occurs of playing evacuees in year six) you might spot the formal apology for the way the genius Mr Turing was treated in the 1950s on the wall in the bookshop, or spot news of events there in the local paper, It's wonderful to have such fantastic history right on your doorstep and Benedict Cumberbatch brought Alan Turning to life in a wonderful manner. Of course it was talked about on a few occasions last week, so I won't go on too much about it too much, but as you may have guessed - and Rachael will certainly understand, history makes me excited.

For the challenge I picked a quote from Doctor Who; said by Matt Smith's 11th Doctor.

We're all just stories in the end. Let's make it a good one, eh?'

I love this quote. On a very basic level, it's meaning is the same as 'Yolo' or the far earlier 'Carpe Diem', the best stories are the interesting, well led lives. So, in my brief blog post for this week, I hope you are all inspired to be the best you can be, to enjoy yourselves and make the most of your lives!

My apologies for such a short, poorly thought out post this week and nothing about books, but it is gone midnight, and before I sleep I still have work to do for tomorrow. Though, honestly, I think I'm going to spend half an hour with music by Hudson Taylor, a cup of tea, some maryland cookies and a candle, because the top floor of my house smells of weed. Lush. 

'Night!
Emily

Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.

Carry on my wayward son - Kansas

Alrighty then folks. I'm not quote sure why I picked this quote, but I feel like we should have a little fun this week. And what's more fun than Hot guys chasing around Demons and Ghosts and all kinds of creepy ass shit, while trying to keep each other safe. Plus JENSEN ACKLES PEOPLE! 

So Supernatural has kinda taken over my life. Bones used to be my favourite show, then I sat there thinking about it one day... Supernatural is now in place of it... though I am still waiting for series 10 to come out in the UK... of Bones that is... which I have just looked up and apparently January... however no channel in the UK wants supernatural series 9 or 10.   :(

At the end of every season without fail so far on SPN they have played the song above. Once hearing it with the opening titles rolling will always bring a tear to my eye, I know it's the last episode and I just wait for one of them to die. 

Why do I put myself through this? I hear some of you ask... BECAUSE I GOT ATTACHED OK?! It wasn't meant to happen, it was like TFIOS... I thought I would read that without becoming obsessed... it didn't go so well. With Supernatural, I watched it because my friend loved it... now I wear the necklace all the damn time, find myself quoting Bobby when things go wrong and and actually further on in the series than my friend, who is American.

I am only talking about my favourite show because I love it and am passionate about it... I am also passionate about photography, I recently did a photoshoot with my niece and pretty pleased with the outcome.

OK so this weeks CHALLENGE  is to pick your favourite quote from your favourite TV show as I have done... have fun picking

Loves and hugs 
Ryon
xxx

Thank You

morning/afternoon!

was going to write the post a little earlier but got watching some movies and did some homework, hope you are all well!!

this week has been an emotional week for me, its has been remembrance week. you see my older brother is in the army and we (my family and his friends) never get a chance to sit back and realize how lucky we are to still have him and still see him the very little we do and so on remembrance Sunday and on Tuesday was filled with tears of love and gratitude.

I don't really know what else to say in this post today expect thank you, to my brother and his friends and most importantly to those whom have fallen, for those who protect us so that we can do what we need to do in life and to do that with freedom.

i would right more but i am no in the right frame of mind, im emotional and stressed which aint the best combo for me!!!

thank you those who have served and continue to do so today you are all amazing and you are all my heroes!!!

Ginger out!!
(its never ever too late to put up a poppy, i have been wearing my poppy bracelet for a whole year, i never want to forget and never wanna stop thanking our service men and woman!)

A Necessary War?

The challenge this week is for me to discuss my favourite war film. I don’t watch war films often, so I am going to have to go with ‘War Horse’, as it’s the only one I remember seeing. Nevertheless, I am ashamed to admit how much I cried, and I am saddened to find out how much better than me horses are at acting.

I had a lot of trouble with this week’s post. Whenever I found myself trying to explain my intended topic, the Persian and Avar attack on Constantinople, and the badassry that fought them off, I felt myself getting excited to write about it. Yet I couldn’t justify to myself posting, only a few days after the 11^th, such a romanticised view of such a bloody conflict. Because while we wear poppies to remember WWI and WWII, there is no fundamental difference between those terrible wars and those fought throughout our history.

War is terrible. War is devastating. Yet, war is, above all, political. I remember being stunned when in my history lessons, as it struck me the lie I had been told my whole life. The soldiers who had died in WWI did not die fighting for our freedom. They died because the British government saw Germany threatening their interests in Africa. They died because Kaiser Wilhelm believed in Weltpolitik. They died because of Tsar Nicholas, and because his pride wouldn’t allow him to let the Serbian government down again. That’s not to trivialise the deaths from all of our wars, and the ones still happening, but rather highlight their tragedy.

Donald Kagan has argued that the Peloponnesian war, a conflict between Sparta and Athens in the 400s BCE, started just as in 1914, through misunderstandings and rivalry. And to an extent, he is correct. As with the assassination of Archduke Franz-Ferdinand, the whole affair began when Athens fought with Corinth over Corcyra, and a delicate system of alliances forced Sparta to declare war on Athens. Nevertheless, just as in WWI, it would be ignorant to suggest the catalyst was the only cause. Innate distrust between the two city states, radically different political ideas, insults, revolution and a change in leadership all contributed to Sparta attacking Athens. The conflict, initiated by a clash of interests and ideals between two powers went on to last years. As with any war, the political scene led to those deaths, and they can’t be justified.  

This is merely one example however. Politics has dominated warfare for millennia, because how many wars have been started by farmers and bakers? The War of the Roses happened because Henry VII felt he should be king instead. The American War of Independence began because of taxes, and despite the clear horrors of slavery, modern historians have argued it was instead the economy that shaped the start of the Civil War in the USA. Even the so called ‘cold war’ was based on the ideology of the leaders, and had it not been for the deterrent of Nuclear weapons I have no doubt we would now be learning about the Russo-American war in history lessons. Clearly, this is an over-simplification of many factors that contributed to our historical conflicts, but politics has always been a leading cause. And even now, while we wear poppies to commemorate the dead of two of our countries greatest military tragedies, we still face more conflict. Until a few weeks ago, we were in Afghanistan, and only a few years ago we were in Iraq. As oil and the economy, and politics, define our interests in the Middle East, I doubt it will be long before we are fighting in Iraq again.

Throughout history, war has been started by politicians, won by tacticians and fought by the soldiers. Innocent men who rarely have anything to do with the conflict beyond where they were born.

And that is why we wear poppies.

It is why we must remember them.

Hi guys... So this week I haven't made anything new, and excited for you (plus I've been quite busy), Which is why I'm writing this with 3 minutes to go!! Help!
But this week is remembrance week, and the challenge was/is to name our favorite war movie. Now I don't support (which I hope no one does) but I do do remembrance day because its important to remember those who risked their lives for ours and those who are still risking. But I don't have a favorite war movie because I don't like (I think they are boring, and can never follow them as I'll get distracted). Plus I've never ever seen the boy in the stripped pjs all the way through either.

This post seems a bit pointless, but at least I'm here writing... And I've only gone 3 minutes into saturday :/

Love you guys
Until next time
Hazel
x

WW1 - The Poets War?

Lest We Forget, indeed.

This week we commemorate armistice Day; When Germany and the Allies agreed to stop fighting after four long years of bloodshed in 1918. There has been a lot of moving and brilliant literature following the Great War, today I intend to discuss just a few examples.

You can't cover the War literature without coming across the poets. WW1 is so often called 'The Poet's War, and almost everyone will come across some of the more famous poems in their lives, most likely Wilfred Owen's Gas Attack! And it's infamous final lines;

My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Whilst war poetry was not a new idea, it certainly came to the forefront in 1914 on a scale never seen before and rarely seen since. The explanation for this I do not know, perhaps it was an amalgamation of the new century, the back end of the industrial revolution and the recent demise of the Great Queen Victoria, Britain was an established empire holder, considering itself intellectually and militarily superior, Patriotism was strife and when war was announced men joined up in their thousands to 'do the right thing.  A lot of this power was lost by the war and this may well reflect in the poems. We can refer back to a translation of Owen's words;

The old lie; it is fitting and glorious to die for your country

This cynical nature is frequent throughout the poetry of the war, a developed distrust and anger at the officers and Generals and any man in charge. As a case study, the poet Arthur Graeme West kept a diary, and his change in attitude towards the war is very clearly documented despite the initial patriotism and feeling that he was doing the right thing, as shown by this passage in his diary:
"I am very unhappy... It is because my whole outlook on the thing has changed. I endured... last year patiently, believing I was doing a right and reasonable thing... I had once regarded [war] as inevitable; now I don't believe it was, and had I been in full posession of my reasoning powers when the War began, I would never have joined the army. To take a stand against the whole thing... would have really been my happier and truer course."

His disdain even spreads to the young, keen soldiers to whom he once belonged;

God! How I hate you, you young cheerful men,

Whose pious poetry blossoms on your graves

All of a sudden the patriotism is lost, the soldiers sense that the war is not going well, after the large scale military disasters like the Somme (1916) and Beumant-Hamel they start to see themselves as being played, threatened. They can't leave as they would be shot for cowardice, they are trapped and we can see this in Owen's poem Anthem for doomed youth;

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle? 

Only the monstrous anger of the guns.

What we can be sure about is that the large mass of moving and graphic poetry, the distress and distrust of the upper class generals that is portrayed, has seriously skewed our view on the war. Whilst the  image of the heroic British working class cowering in muddy trenches and surrounded by vermin and death is certainly not false, it doesn't cover the bigger picture. Soldiers spent less than 1/3 of their time in those trenches, most of the time they would be behind the lines and out of the firing line, they were given a hot meal every day (a luxury for a lot of them), there are poems which do nothing but ponder when the next rum ration is due. Even in the trenches, rather than constantly being sent over the front, soldier spent most time writing letters or playing cards or even writing satyrical newspapers (The Wipers Times is fine proof that a good heart was kept by at least some soldiers) And still we always associate the war with horror and despair such as is described in Sassoon's Suicide in the Trenches;

In winter trenches, cowed and glum, 
With crumps and lice and lack of rum, 
He put a bullet through his brain. 
No one spoke of him again.

Gosh, there is so much to say, I forgot that there was a part of me that actually enjoyed English Literature! But there is a lot of focus on the poetry, so now I want to briefly discuss some prose. I will focus on two books, for very different reasons.

The first book is Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Foremost because, like the poetry, it's importance and vivid description comes from the author's own experiences in the second world war. It also explore's the disorienting effects of (what we now call) PTSD through the abstract plotline of Billy Pilgrim's kidnap by the Tralfamadorians as well as the sobering effect that the war had on Vonnegut. His blase reaction to death - the only words he has to say about the countless deaths he witnesses are 'so it goes' -shows us the unnatural and indescribable effect of the war, particularly being caught in the bombing in Dresden. The book is satyrical, but it allows the reader - and, we can hope, Vonnegut - to come to terms with the awful war.

Books looking back on the war are just as important as those written by those who experiences, they can examine issues that didn't seem so bad at the time. For this reason, I choose The Absolutist by John Boyne. As well as being a love story (as all the great War novels are) it explores the treatment of White-Feather men, or Absolutists, during WW1, men who chose not to fight due to moral or religious reasons. Once they were up the front, they were shot for cowardice. It also explores the treatment of gay men in the time, linking very nicely to Bryony's monday post about Bletchley Park, Mr Alan Turing - the great researcher, shunned, discredited and forced into a painful procedure due to his homosexuality.

The literature of war is important. It tells us the thoughts and feelings as well as the cold hard facts about it, and people will be reading them for many many years to come. It is one of my favourite parts of history to study, and the literature is just as important as the textbooks.

Emily.

Shoulder to shoulder with all who serve

Mad World - Gary Jules and Michael Andrews

Hey Folks!

It's Ryon again, and yes it's another Monday. This isn't just any week, this week is remembrance week. Tomorrow is the 11th of November, and here in the UK we take a moment on this day to remember those who fought in the first world war. That is what the poppy appeal is about and every year without fail, my family support this appeal, a tradition that I hope to do with my children every year. I don't know how people in other countries support this, or even if they do, but each year, I like to take a minute or two out of my time and think about those who have served in previous wars and those fighting for my country today. Because if you think about it, even if you don't agree with the cause of the Wars, there are still people out there willing enough and patriotic enough to put their life on the line for their country. 

Now as for the song choice, I just love this song. And I agree with what it states, that this is indeed a mad world. But it's also a world that we have to live in, whether you think that it is mad as in crazy or mad as in angry, this is the world we live in... and to be honest I have lost what I was saying. So let's talk more about World War 1.

I remember first learning about trench warfare in year 9. To get the point across to students, a bunch of 13-14 year olds, our teach felt the need to swear. She was trying to get us to understand how scared these trench soldiers were, it was effective to say the least, well at least to get most of the kids in my class to marvel at the wonder that was a teacher swearing. However for me it did hit home. Now as sadistic as it may sound I love learning about war. It's just a subject that interests me, I don't know why, but I know I am not alone in my passion for history such as this. Though I don't like learning about the current war, but I suppose in years to come it may indeed be a distant memory and will be worth a trip to a museum or two. As I was saying, the Great Wars have always been something I ave been interested in learning about and this term my course have been lucky enough to take pictures at Bletchley park, which is where the code breaking happened, which won us the second war. So as well as taking pictures, I learnt a bit more about the second world war.

So that is my introduction to this week. and this weeks CHALLENGE is talk about your favourite war film... and NOT the Boy in the Striped Pyjamas... that film is over played and an obvious choice.

My favourite war film is Behind The Lines which is a film that is based on the book 'Regeneration' which is probably my favourite war book, it's not so much about the fighting but the consequences that the fighting brought. It is set in a war asylum call Craiglockheart which is in Scotland. to me al though it isn't the best film it is still about one of my favourite books, and it has a good story behind it.

Ok guys and girls I am done.

Lots Of Love

Ryon 

xxx

Introducing... Nothing very interesting

Bonjour mes amis! Je m’appelle Rachael! No, scratch that, I am not French and my accent is terrible.

Nonetheless, to get started I am Rachael, and the wonderful Ryon has done me the honour of asking me to write the Saturday posts for the blog. So, that is what I shall do, unless I am incredibly boring (which I suspect I might be) in which case I promise I’ll stop!

But without further ado- on! To the weeks challenge!

Now, a disclaimer, I have never read TFIOS nor seen the film, so I am not in a position to give you any well thought out advice on the matter. However, I am fortuitous in the fact that this week’s challenge is to write about what I find positive- as my personal favourite subject is ancient history, and I am hoping to relate most of my posts to the topic- then I feel I am accurate in saying that classical history is what I feel positive about.

With the muddle of essays and presentations I have to prepare over the next few weeks- stressed is an appropriate word to how I am currently feeling. That’s not to say I’m too overwhelmed- or struggling to cope- because I have managed to set an order to my work and organised myself- but that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally look at my multitude of tasks and ask myself why I picked a degree that makes me want to throw an amphora out a window.

It boils down to this quote.

‘We are standing on the edge of a hole in time’

I found it at a museum in Brussels nearly a year ago now, but throughout that time it has remained with me. This quote, for me at least, exemplifies everything I love about history, and the fact I can’t understand why everyone doesn’t love it. Every step we take has been walked down be people before, and every brick we touch has been touched by someone else. We are not original or unique- because there have been 2 millennia of human history and every feeling we have has been felt by someone before. I find this comforting, because regardless of how I feel right now, how stressed and upset I can get- we are not alone- and it’s ignorant to believe we are unique in our thoughts and emotions. It’s easy to put ancient cultures on a pedestal, or drag them down and call them uncivilised, but we often forget the people behind the actions when we do so. Constantine’s sons’ may have acted oddly to us, but they were people nonetheless, with thoughts, emotions and real lives. As steeped in myth as our history is- everyone in it was the product of their society. Maybe their values were different- so do we have the right to judge them? Perhaps we would have acted the same if we had been raised with the same morals. When a roman emperor starts a civil war, can you blame his sons from disturbing the peace to do the same?

History isn’t just about those figures though. It goes further than that, and deeper. If you care about Octavian, then you also care about his wife, mother, slaves and their children. Because these are the people who shared his life. Graffiti in Pompeii is just as vulgar as our own- though ideals change- and no matter how stressful it is writing about the socio-political struggles of early dynastic Egypt, whenever I sit down to learn about hoplites or Theodora, I smile, and the stress seems worth it.

This piece works as propaganda for history. I don’t mean to bore you and I feel I may have gone a tad off topic- but history is what is positive for me, which is why I intend to give each of my posts a classical spin. It’s a comfort blanket to wrap myself in, a warm cup of tea to nourish the soul.

More accurately, history is a hole in time, and to experience it, all you have to do is jump in. 

TFIOS

Hey there everyone :) So this week has been rather hectic, therefore my recipe will not be related to the quote but I'll shall talk about it before I write it.

So I have never read the the book The Fault in Our Stars, but I did go and see it because of Ryon (Thank you by the way). I loved it, in fact straight after the movie I brought the book. But I still haven't read it because I let my family borrow it. (This is probably a bit boring but I'll get to the point).So my mum read it and then my brother read it (he's 17 years old) and my mum came back to me saying how the book changed my brother life. Now this, to me, was amazing, my brother never really expresses his feeling or thoughts very often, and rarely talks about things and life and so forth, so hearing that this book opened his eyes to life, and made him see things different was astonishing! So even though I haven't read the book (just seen the film, and though the film was beautiful, I bet the book was so much better) I still feel its one of the best books I will ever read (at the moment).

Its touched so many people, in so many different ways and that's amazing!

Understand? Yes! Good. Okay? Okay!

So it's inevitable that some people will not like this book, for some rest, and I am not judging, but no one needs to be judged about there opinion (that's just stupid) I'm just saying this post my not be everyone's cup of tea, but I feel like people should understand the message and how important life is, and we take it for granted so much. I mean nothing lasts forever, and I know this weeks challenge is to stay positive and I believe that is positive. Once we understand that concept, we can live life so much happier and in the moment, and treasure every little detail, every beautiful memory! 

Title Unknown

Ingredients

Butternut Squash

Pumpkin

Onion

(Whatever veg you have really)

Tahini (made from ground, hulled sesame seeds) 

Olive Oil

Lemon Juice

Garlic

So for starters, roast your veg, so your pumpkin, butternut squash, onion (carrot, anything really). Then you need to make a mix to pour over it, and for that you need your tahini, Olive oil, lemon juice and garlic. Mix them all to a paste/mix/sauce (whatever aha).

So to serve place your beggies on a place, drizzle the sauce over (add a few herbs) and serve with rice (which is what we did) but you can serve with what ever you desire.

Hope you enjoy this dish, I did and It was gorgeous.

Please let me know what you think.

See you next week

Hazel x 

 

Chin up dickward

     Ello ello ello, evening darlins' Becky here, I'm feeling a bit under the weather today so this will be short and sweet :)

     Now positivity is something vital to everyone, but growing up we've been taught that it's negative or unbecoming. If you're positive about your body image, you're vain, if you're positive and confident in your ability to do something, you're full of yourself. Society has drummed it into our brains from a very young age that we must strive to be this perfect specimen of humanity we see posted in every newspaper and magazines, but as soon as we start to think that we may be becoming what we ourselves see and think of as the "perfect version" of ourselves, we're ridiculed and shamed.

 *starts singing "Fuck 'Em All" in the tune of Let It Go*

Remember confidence and positivity comes hand in hand.

     Society needs to go fuck itself, if there is anything that we need more in life, it's positivity. You wan't to take that selfie? Take that fucking selfie cutie. And it's not all about body image or positivity too, don't be ashamed to show off your smarts, if people stopped being bullied or pulled down because of their brains imagine where we could be?! Just fucking accept it and lets have hovercars already!

    Have a positive feeling about everything you do, enjoy life to its fullest and if you're down in the dumps, chin up dickward, it'll only get better if you let it :) As someone who's had a mental illness rip apart their life, I know what it feels like to be at my lowest point, but guess what? It got better, because I was positive about it, I tried to be whenever I could, I used it as a learning experience about having positivity in your life. Through this I also learn't that your own positivity affects others too,because I could never of  made it through like I did without the help I got from my family and a few friends (seriously you find out who are your real friends when something like this happens to you -_- ). So I've said it before and I'll say it again, spread the love!!!

    Until next week my little turnips, I'll be better by then hopefully. Peace out <3

Words on Wednesdays - TFIOS!

Today I am writing my post with blistered hands after my first proper riding lesson in near six years. Good fun, but I am going to ache tomorrow!
This week's challenge is to be positive, to talk about things you are passionate about. Books are a big passion of mine, I'll move on to discuss The Fault in our Stars in just a moment, but first I want to say a little bit about my main passion; DOCTOR WHO.

I have no idea who any of the other people in this picture are,
they were very keen we should have a picture together...

This is quite a good week for it, the finale of Series 8 will be airing this Saturday, and on the same day I shall be joining forces with my friends here in beautiful Cardiff for Cardiff Comic-Con; we have cosplays ready as the eleventh Doctor, Clara and the TARDIS - I can't wait! Look at my fabulous 11th Dr Costume which I wore first in 2013:
50 years on, Sci-Fi's longest running show is just as fabulous as ever.

Right, onwards to TFIOS.
(NB - SPOILER ALERT)

What is important to remember about this book, and John Green's wonderful characters Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters, is that they are in no way special. And especially not just because because they are sick, this is not a book about sickness, it is a book about love, and living the life you want to despite illness, not defined by it. Hazel and Gus are NOT special in the grand scheme of things, they are not going to be remembered because they are just an ordinary boy and girl who by pot luck got the short end of the stick and their lives end prematurely. Augustus Waters' acutely aware of his insignificance in the grand scheme of things, puts this very nicely;

"Anyone can name fourteen dead people. But we're disorganized mourners, so a lot of people end up remembering Shakespeare, and no one ends up remembering the person he wrote Sonnet Fifty-five about.” 

Or, of course, you need only to look at the title to see where I am coming from - the original quote from Julius Ceasar (Shakespeare) reads;

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

I.e - There is no grand scheme that has screwed them over, it's just dumb luck and we would be fools to treat it any differently.
Now that we have moved very far away from the idea that Hazel and Augustus are what I would refer to as 'Special little snowflakes' we can look at the novel on a podium somewhere among the great Love stories. Hazel and Gus are special to each other, ('you gave me an infinity within the numbered days' - what a romantic line!) and that is what matters. It is a dysfunctional romance, yes. not ideal in every way, namely Hazel's very present and literal baggage in the form of her gas canister and Gus's premature death, but if you list all the great novels commonly associated with love, you might notice that serious flaws is a recurring theme...

Jane Eyre - He's still married, the ex lives in the attic.
Romeo and Juliet - Lasts five days, six people die including the double suicide of the titular lovers.
Lolita - Thirty-something stepfather becomes sexually obsessed with twelve year old girl. 
Paris and Helen of Troy - She runs off with him and her husband starts a ten year war.
The Great Gatsby - Gatsby is living in a dream world where he and (Now married) Daisy can follow the (metaphorical) American Dream. Ends in, again, double murder

You get my point. Despite their... issues... these, and TFIOS, are still counted as the worlds greatest love stories. I'm certain Gus would have something to say about the metaphorical resonance here. Flaws are overlooked and The Fault in our Stars succeeds in John Green's aim to 'argue for [sick people's] humanity by giving them a love story to rival the greats. And with a stunningly beautiful love quote modeled by Bryony on Monday:

'I fell in love the way you fall asleep - slowly, and then all at once...'

A sub theme of the story is the idea that we have a (albeit limited) choice on the impact we have within our own little part of the world. Gus and Hazel take very different approaaches to this, with Hazel trying to 'minimise the casualties' that will be caused by her inevitable death and Augustus desperate to 'leave [his] mark on the world', ensuring that he has a pre-funeral to ensure he has done this (by affecting his friends). His posthumous letter to Hazel suggests he is pleased with the way he has shaped his life, his own little part of the world. 

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”

I hope you liked my short and sweet piece on this marvelous book, remember you don't have to agree with my opinion, this is one nineteen year old's view on the novel, not the definite answer!

Ooh, also, Today is the Fifth November, so I shall leave you with the following parting words, and I hope you all go out and enjoy the annual celebration of the defeat of insolent and violent Catholicism! ((Please don't take this as my religious view, but that is literally what Bonfire night is; the Protestants showing off that they are better than the Catholics))

- Emily

Remember, Remember the Fifth of November
Gunpowder, Treason and Plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot.

Staying Positive

Hello again, and welcome to another installment of Off Topic Tuesday! Can I just start by saying IT'S ONLY 50 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS! WAHOO. You know, the first thing I just thought of when typing that was 'I can only imagine all the chocolate I am going to be eating'... Oh dear Lily...

Anway, this week Ryon has set the challenge to BE POSITIVE. Christmas is something that is keeping my spirits high and my negativity low. I know that Christmas isn't particularly a good time for everyone, or maybe some people just don't really see it as a big deal. However, I love Christmas as, for me, it is all about family and spending quality time with loved ones. 

This year I have got enough money to actually buy people presents! How excited, eh? Aha. I know Christmas isn't about presents or money but it is nice to be able to spoil those that you care about every so often. I want to show my appreciation to my family and friends. I also think that its the giving that counts. It doesn't matter what you give to someone, its about the time you spend picking it out; asking pretty obvious questions such as 'what size shoe are you?' and 'what's your favourite colour?'... and 'how do you spell Converse?' aha. 

Enough jibber jabber about Christmas. Lets talk about staying positive. I just finished watching a video on YouTube of the Pixiwoo sisters (Sam and Nic) talking to Jordan Bone. The basis of the video is about staying positive in whatever situation you are in (watch it here). Jordan talks a little about her condition and how she came to be Tetraplegic. I was really inspired by this video because sat on the other side of my computer screen was a beautiful woman that was happy, bubbly, full of life and happiness even though she has been through so much in her life. She kept saying that we each only have one life (unless you believe in reincarnation) and we can't dwell on things that have happened in the past otherwise we'll waste the time we have left being miserable. It really opened my eyes to the fact that I have spend a good portion of my life so far moaning about things I'm unhappy about or things I dislike about myself... and for what? What good has come out of my moaning? I'll tell you; no good! Nothing I have ever grumbled has benefited me in any way what so ever. Therefore I am going to try my hardest to see the positives from now on and whenever I feel myself getting even just a little tetchy I am going to take some deep breaths and (fingers crossed) calm down. I mean, how hard can it be... right?

I am going to another video that Jordan talked about her story in and also her YouTube channel. I hope you find her as inspirational as I do. 

Amazing Not Invisible 

Jordan's Channel

Until next time;

Over and out, 

Lily.

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, and then all at once"

Simple As This - Jake Bugg

The Fault In Our Stars Soundtrack (Full)

Okie Dokie Boys and Girls, I have had a fluctuation in my moods today, first half of the day was really good then the next half was pretty shit, but that's OK because that happens from time to time and we get over it and move on. Now I didn't pick this quote because I am in love, although have you see Jack Barakat? OK so moving on to what the post is really about. TODAY IS THE DAY! The Fault In Our Stars is FINALLY out on DVD and I obviously wanted the best one. so I got the Blu-ray/DVD/Digital copy well eventually, after an upset with amazon and trying to blame my bank and yadda yadda yadda *negative crap.*  

Today I am not going to be negative, this is a sad film and an even more upsetting book. (You know because they tell more in the book.) So I am going to do the polar opposite of this book and be really positive... believe me ask Lily how hard that used to be fore me. For the most part it still is. But 'Keep Moving forward' (little bit of a Disney quote in there coz I can) [Meet the Robinsons/Walt Disney if you didn't know). ANYWAY. I know you will listen to the song and be like 'What the Hell Ryon?' I know it's not the most positive as songs, but hey it's making me positive, but I have put a link to the whole sound track so you can choose your own positive song. OR you may already know your positivity song... I sure as hell do. I have 2. one is Who We Are by Paradise fears and the one that made me feel safe and calm is Stand Up by Yashin. 

Basically because I have pretty much had a bad day I am wanting to do a positive post to cheer me up mainly, this is a fairly easy week with it being TFIOS week. I have already collaborated with Emily so she will probably be talking about the book and well I have ideas that Hazel could do, well one really but I will tell her that tomorrow. Or you know tonight on facebook. I wont say my idea because it's her blog post and if she doesn't want to do that idea then it's her choice. 

I did ask for John Green's input on this blog post, to get him to choose this week's quote from his book, but he didn't answer... well he has been busy with Paper Towns Movie and probably other things so you cant really blame him. 

As I said this is a positive post with a sad subject. this weeks CHALLENGE is to be positive, you don't have to talk about the quote, talk about something that you are passionate about. Or that you love very, very much. For Me I have done that, I have spoken about the music, I have spoken about the film, the book, the author, all of these I love dearly and it makes me happier knowing that I can get behind something and be positive about it. SO there you cou guys just be POSITIVE. That's all I ask... we can be negative other weeks.

OK on a more serious note, this film/book is about cancer... now I did plan to stop posting this in November, but I feel if I don't do it I will have the guilt hanging over me. I gave up alcohol for a whole month (not that I missed it all that much... yeah there were times) for MacMillan Cancer support. My link to my Go Sober page is in other Monday blog posts, so you can donate there... or straight to MacMillan. Or to other Cancer Charities. I feel like if I didn't put this you would feel like I am completely missing the point. I mean giving to charity in general is good but I feel because of the subject of the book, cancer ones need a little more recognition for this subject. But you go donate to any charity you want.

Anyway that's mine, over for another week.

Lots Of Love
Ryon
xxx

i am sad, stressed and pissed but not that student typical pissed i mean im pissed off XD

good morning,
hope you all had a fine Halloween i had the best besides for some fucking twelve year old stole my bloody spanner, so basically i was dressed as a zombie hunter was meant to do a Tyrian Lannister scar across my face but due to rehearsals being really intense this week i could barely stand up and i could not be arsed practicing with the liquid latex and when Friday popped its beautiful head around the corner it was too late and i decided fuck it and do it, but something happened and when i had made the scar it dried up and started to fall off so that failed so we threw blood all over me and it looked amazing!! (please do not do this in the bathroom of you're student accomindation you want you're deposit back don't ya XD) then i went to a pre-drinks party, and after i started drinking i realized i had not had the chance to eat anything besides a slice of birthday cake and decided that it was going to be a vary interesting night, we then started to play a drinking and card game called fuck you, so basically everyone gets two cards out of the pile (and every time you put one down you pick another one up) and then the dealer starts she/he can put any card down and says fuck you (enter name here) and then starts to count down, if someone has the same card they can also place it down to save that person from this and say fuck you (enter name here) then start to count down this can happen four times (obviously) and when they reach zero the last person who got fucked has to drink the amount of that type of card on the pile so if there were four 6 of hearts down there then they would take four sips but big ones, but i ended up fucking it and downing three of mine, well the last one was more of a dribble but i still fucking did it (Tyrian are you proud of me?) then we started my drunken walk to our favorite pup PENNYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D where we meet the fucking 12 year old zombie who was a dick and threw my spanner away because i would not suck him off in which in a drunken manner i replied "im sorry i do not belief in rape and i am tired after doing it to you're mum" and which the drunken walk turned into a run in heels!!!!!!!!! XD we got to Pennys <3 where we meet a lot of amazing people as we always do and sang karaoke, but some dick head stole the song me and a friend was meant to do a sweet transvestite, he said he had called my friends name but i was standing right there and he hand not, but at 1:30 am we started signing don't stop believing as i threw my wolf hat about the place XD then i went to bed crying because i had not got a boyfriend and i was meant to talk to this really cute guy at the party but the alcohol got to me first XD

okay and onto the title of this post,
i am sad because i am still ill, which has added onto the bloody stress!
we were given an assignment to write up a review about DIY theater (i would get into detail but its long and i dont understand any of it XD ) then use the correct refference. so in tears i wrote up what i could about the article i had just read and trying to but it into normal peoples words (i have just learnt that some of my sentences if not all do not make any sense, which in its self is frustrating because in my head they do!!) so i was trying to make them make sense whilst trying to make sense of the article........if that makes sense XD
so anyways threw tears i made it!! i did it i felt like Rambo in the first of blood i had made it out of the war but gonna walk into a town in which i do not know yet but i am not welcomed in....
then i had to do referencing that bloody useless thing that i fucking hate as much as i hate Sundays!!! the thing is we were given a lesson in how to do them, but he turned up late and did it all in about 10 mins and at that time i did not have my echo pen so i was sitting there trying my best to hold my anger in, and he was saying it as fast as Eminem can rap "rap god" and then he gave us a page on moodle in which we can find our reference list (on how to write the variety of referencing) asked for questions but before anyone could put there hands up he was out of the door and gone leaving behind a small blue piece of paper (blue paper with black writing on it is amazing, the letters have stopped their teasing little dance and now it is i who is dancing a happy dance of victory) saying that he was part of the learning services (a place if you wanna get tested for dyslexia or anything else or to get help with assignments) in which cheered me up because of the irony, he was raping to a group of students that are not only connected threw the love of acting and behind set work, but where the majority of us (and most out of the whole uni campus) are dyslexic or have ADD, so he fucked up there, it does not really matter i have complained to the people and i think we are getting another lesson about it with another lecturer who knows what they are doing.

okay so back to the walk to the town, so i had completed what i thought was going to the most difficult part of my day and how i was so wrong. i tried my best to reference it correctly compering it to others (people reference it for me and i felt so stupid going to them and asking again after asking three times so i went and looked at my notes and i had found where they kept a whole document on our moodle page on different types of referencing and the sun started coming out of the gray clouds until i found out that they did not have any on the referencing i needed so i threw my notes across the room along with other objects that would not break, and started crying, its hard being stupid really difficult but at some points it is amazing (please dont be like aww you're not stupid, i am, if people including teachers say i am for the past 15 years then i am and i have learnt to life with it along side my dyslexia and i'm in uni where soon i will get the best help i can and be the first stupid person to graduate from here) so i decided to fuck it and write where i found it at what time, the name of the person who wrote it and when it was published (and yes i know its what i has to be done but there is a specific order in which it has to go in) and i am hoping that if i point out to my lectures and my class reps that this was the easier and not so stressful way of me doing it and get some others to agree with it i am hoping that i can get the people who is in charge recognize it as a type of reference which only dyslexic people and i the stupid one can use :)

and why i am pissed, because i am starting to realize that i might not have the time to write one up every week, next week they are doing the fault in our stars, which i bloody hate, and so i changed mine to the one who flew over the cuckoos nest its a beautiful movie absolutely stunning but at this rate with how rehearsals are going and with all the work i have to do (i have assignments/ home work and on top of that i have to write a log book of each lesson and rehearsals). I think i might not be able to next week, but i will hopefully be able to slot in writing up a blog about it and then schedule it in for 1pm (the time where i normally get up on a Sunday so it will feel like i have written it and posted it up myself). i am  starting to struggle with doing the work and this at the same time, so please do not be expecting one each week, there may be days in which there will be nothing and i do apologize in advanced but it should not be often and hay that's show business for ya and sometimes you have to give up something you enjoy to do something you love which for me is performing :)

love you all my amazing ginger ninjas

hope you all had a wonderful Halloween :)